Pause

"Not so fast!"

"What?"

"I didn't say yes. At least not yet. Be careful of assuming it's a yes..."

I don't like to be pushed, how about you? I don't like it when people assume that any answer that is not a no must logically be a yes. Maybe not.

It's fine to pause. It's worth thinking. No one can fault you for taking a breath, or two, or three!

A pause, before a promise, can prevent that promise from being broken.

I'd like to be someone who keeps my promises. How about you?

-- doug smith

Comments

Rival as Coach

Competition can be rough but it can also be educational. If you study your opponent you might learn their secrets. If you can listen to your opposition, they might be sending you valuable signals that could improve your own performance. What if your rival is also your best coach? -- doug smith

Turn That Feedback Upside Down

Is feedback painful? Do you hate both giving AND receiving feedback? Most people, in my experience, tend to avoid feedback because there is pain and even emotional trauma attached. Critical feedback hurts. Positive feedback, when it comes at all, isn't always enough to counter the trauma of the critical feedback. We do need critical feedback. We need to be able to benefit from observations and experiences to improve our performance going forward. As leaders, we have a responsibility to provide our team members with both support and challenge. Feedback should be part of that challenge. But it's not really "feedback" unless it's flipped upside down. On my Fender amplifier, if I play my guitar too loud and too close to the speaker the sound feeds-back. I like that sound (it reminds me of Jimi Hendrix) but many people don't and it certainly would not fit in most worship services or orchestra pits. The feedback is essentially telling me to turn it down. But I don...

Action!

You've heard the term "Action!" in the movie business applied to beginning a scene. Get moving. Do your part. Play your role. Action. Often, the action is incomplete, incorrect, or just insufficient. When that happens on the set you'll hear "Back to one!" which means start the scene over from the beginning. You get another chance. Some directors will even give you a couple extra chances to get it right. Other directors, like Stanley Kubrick, might insist on dozens of "back to ones" to make sure something brilliant happens. We don't always get do-overs in real life, do we? But we can't get stuck at "one" or "back to one". We need action. Sketch out all the plans you want as long as you remember that it takes action to achieve your goals. And what if you don't like the results of your action? Maybe...just maybe, give back to one a chance... -- doug smith

A Bit of Justice

Is it possible to have peace without justice? I wrestle with that question because I know what I'd like it to be and I suspect that the real answer is something else. How about you? The path of peace is sometimes covered with conflict. Problems don't always present in a respectful, peaceful manner. Sometimes they barely even disguise the greed behind the behavior. Tough, yet almost certain, the answer involves an assertive response. A problem caused by greed might need a bit of justice. Peaceful, restorative justice perhaps, but most definitely justice. -- doug smith

Steps of Success

Remember to celebrate the goals you've already achieved. They are powerful steps toward your next great goal. -- doug smith

Clarify and then Work

Where does success start? It starts with the goal. What is it that you really, really want? Clarifying what your goal is can save you hours, weeks, and years of frustration. Work on what matters. Work on your goals. -- doug smith

How Far?

How far will you go? How much will you work? How important is it to you? Your goals will go as far as you will go... -- doug smith

Some Motivation

When your goals are tied to a larger mission their value prods you forward. One more step, one more step, for goodness' sake take one more step... -- doug smith

How To Give and Receive Constructive Feedback

I'm facilitating a training session this week on feedback and coaching so of course my research never stops. No matter how many times I've delivered a program, there's always more to learn. I found this video and recommend it. If you'd like to take some of the "sting" out of feedback, don't even think of it as feedback. Think of it as advice. Here's the ten minute video. If you don't have ten minutes, the first three minutes are golden. Three key points that I got from the video: Focus on the task, not the person Ask for advice, not feedback Your "second score" is how you take and process your first score. If someone says that your performance was a three on a scale of ten (ouch!) you can still get a ten on how you use that information. -- doug smith

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