doug smith training

Why do we lie? That's a compelling question worth exploring. I once read that on average we tell about 26 lies a day. That's a lot of lying. But as leaders, don't we rely on our people to tell the truth? Aren't they (and our customers, and our families!) relying on US to tell the truth? What if it's not exactly our fault? What if we can dramatically reverse the amount of lies we tell by adding a bit of mindfulness? I like this video. It involves behavioral science and while it would be nice to have even more research on this, I do find the evidence compelling that very often we lie unconsciously. Watch the video and see what you think. Interesting experiment? What opportunities can you think of where you work to wake-up the moral foundation in yourself and in the people in your life? How can you remind people that you are counting on the truth? We all must communicate effectively to achieve the results that we want. That means finding, and delivering,

Do you secretly want to change something? It's bugging you, aggravating you, annoying you, standing in your way and you just want it to be different? Change is tough. One necessary part of changing something is to talk about it. Talk about it with people who can make a difference. Talk about it with people who feel your pain. Talk about it. If you want to change it, talk about it. Then get busy. -- doug smith

I know how it feels to fail to communicate. For too long I would keep my feelings to myself. Too many times my thoughts were secret. All too often my silence would be assumed as agreement when that simply was not true. No more. I've focused on improving, on developing my communication skills, and whenever possible, to help other people with theirs. Because it's so important. In many ways, it's the whole ball game. Fail to communicate and how will you ever get what you want? Fail to communicate and how will you manage to make a positive difference in the world? Few things hurt more or do more damage than failure to communicate. I'm still learning how to communicate more effectively. How about you? -- doug smith

I often quote Susan Scott ("Fierce Conversations") who said, "Let silence do the heavy lifting." It's powerfully useful. Those awkward silences are times to think, times to process, times to remain curious. Today I'd like to add this: We rush to fill the silence. We awkwardly walk away. We miss the silent opportunity. It's not a time to hurry, it's a time to remain mindful. Be there. Process. Listen. Our first reactions are often less than optimal. Let your thinking and your emotions percolate. Let them brew. Explore, discover, something that might be new. Silence is too powerful to waste. Use the gift that it brings. -- doug smith

We specialize in workshops that help people get things done without ticking each other off. Mostly, that means helping people communicate more effectively. To bring one of our workshops to your location, please contact us at: doug@dougsmithtraining.com Here is a selection of our most popular, and successful workshops: Communication Boot Camp -  How to Communicate for the Results You Want  - One day workshop to help you develop the skills you need to create deeper, more effective conversations, build stronger relationships, and communicate with tact, respect, diplomacy, and professionalism. Add a second day to develop more productive meetings and learn how to deliver more powerful and influential presentations. It's Not About the Slides... Powerful Presentation Skills  -  Get beyond the slides and into the hearts and minds of your audience. Whether you make one presentation a year or one every day, how you communicate during a presentation is either propelling

Figure out what your body language is saying and your words will come much more easily. -- Doug Smith

Here's a funny video that shows (in a small way) the importance of voice tone and how we can counter our message with neutral sounding words. John Cena Teaches Hugh Jackman Reverse Trash Talking

Do you paraphrase when you're listening? Communication is a two-way dynamic. It's so easy to assume that we're being understood. More often than not, the door to misunderstanding is open wider than we know. People read between the lines. Attention wanders. We make stuff up. Clear the fog. Listen actively for clarity. It's so important to understand. I don't think we can ever reach a meaningful and fair agreement with someone UNTIL we understand them. Completely. Clearly. Without a hidden agenda or misrepresentation. I will do my best to paraphrase someone I am in dialogue with so that I can clarify MY misunderstandings and help them make their meaning clear. I crave that understanding. How about you? Are you actively paraphrasing the people you listen to? I don't know what you've heard until you tell me. What do you think? -- Doug Smith

If we can talk about it, we can deal with it. It all stacks up. We face conflict around every corner. Even from people who with think are our closest friends and allies, we occasionally (daily?) feel the discomfort of disagreement. It's a time to stretch. It's a time to learn. It's a time to start and sustain conversations that reach for understanding, even when agreement is our of view. When we can understand each other, we can begin to dig the conversation deeper into new territory. We can feel each other's pain, appreciate each other's passion, and calculate sensibly each other's logic. If we can talk about it, we can deal it. No matter how big the problem. No matter how distant the goal. Find the person who troubles you the most and start that conversation. You'll be glad that you did, if you listen to understand. What do you need to talk about today? -- Doug Smith

Most problems are hard to solve unless you talk about it. Whatever is standing in your way, my advice is to get over it, get under it, get around it, just for heaven's sake talk about it. Start the conversation. That's where great things begin. -- Doug Smith

photo of Rusty by Judi Madigan How curious are you? In my workshops on communication and achieving your goals I point out how important it is to listen with curiosity. We are most attentive when we are most curious. Instead of jumping to conclusions or judging before it's necessary, high performance leaders center their listening around staying curious. How do you do that? One way is by asking relevant questions. One of my mentors, Lester T. Shapiro (who wrote the book The Training Effectiveness Handbook ) once said that the primary role of leaders is to ask relevant questions. Here are some questions that I've found extremely relevant and that help me to remain curious: What is your case? We are always building a case and not always aware of the case that we're building or why. It might not even serve our best interests, and yet we can talk ourselves into anything. Stay curious about what you really want, what you think you want and (most importantly) is w

Have you ever had to work with someone who does not share your values? In all honesty, I think we all do that all the time. Our values are important, and we strive to live by them every day, but not everyone shares those values and yet we do need the help of people who have different values. It IS so much easier to work with people who share our values. Shared values build trust. Shared values build understanding. Shared values build collaboration. But sometimes we have to be a role model for those values and hope that our demonstration of our values in action will show their merit. By being a positive example of our values in action, we might just encourage other people to embrace those values. And by showing our willingness to work with people we disagree with we can show how we facilitate, rather than force, our way of living. It's harder to collaborate with people who don't share our values -- but not impossible. Who have you been avoiding because of their value