Key Questions to Stay Curious

photo of Rusty by Judi Madigan

How curious are you?

In my workshops on communication and achieving your goals I point out how important it is to listen with curiosity. We are most attentive when we are most curious. Instead of jumping to conclusions or judging before it's necessary, high performance leaders center their listening around staying curious.

How do you do that?

One way is by asking relevant questions. One of my mentors, Lester T. Shapiro (who wrote the book The Training Effectiveness Handbook) once said that the primary role of leaders is to ask relevant questions.

Here are some questions that I've found extremely relevant and that help me to remain curious:

What is your case?

We are always building a case and not always aware of the case that we're building or why. It might not even serve our best interests, and yet we can talk ourselves into anything. Stay curious about what you really want, what you think you want and (most importantly) is what you think is true really true?

What is your goal?

What do you want to achieve? Are you sure? Are you committed? Is your goal in this situation compatible with who you want to be known as?

What is your agenda?

What are you doing, consciously or unconsciously, to create the environment you just operate in? Is that what you want? What might you need to change to create your best possible world? Who can help? When will you begin?

What are your assumptions?

Interrogate your truth (as Susan Scott would say. For more on this see her great book Fierce Conversations). Identify possibilities, fallacies, misdirections, lies, hallucinations, dreams, rationalizations, and all fuzzy thinking. Stop making shit up!

What is unknown?

Identify the missing pieces. What's happening in the background? What has led to the current situation? Know what you don't know so that you can learn it. What do you need? Figure out what other people are looking for in the situation and if you can all reach a mutually beneficial outcome. Sometimes we're drawn into a competition that isn't even needed.

What do you need?

What do you need and where can you find it ini order to achieve your goals? Who can help? Be very honest about what resources you must have, and which are simply desirable but not critical. The first step to getting what you need, in order to get what you want, is to know what you need.

What are you curious about?

Stay open and curious no matter what. Consider wild, fun, miraculous possibilities. Stop judging and simply accept. You can always evaluate later on. That inner judge or inner critic is not gone for good, just on a break. Make the most of it. Challenge assumptions. Challenge limitations. Challenge imperfections. Smile.

That last point, to smile, is not a humorous throwaway. I mean it. Smile. See what a difference it makes. And for heaven's sake -- stay curious!

-- Doug Smith

Comments

Connections

It's in our differences that connections are made. -- doug smith

More signal than noise

Criticism produces more noise than signal. The recipient will hear mostly noise. Find another way to share the relevant information and it will sound more like advice than insult. Here's one other way -- ask the person you want to give advice to what their advice is for improving performance. Listen. Find the tone. Catch the brilliance. Support the useful observations. When we coach positively with enthusiasm our advice lives longer. What do you think? -- doug smith

Tough Choice

As a customer, you'd know what you want. That's worth keeping in mind. Sometimes things might seem good for business but be bad for customers. If money is the only bottom line we find ourselves at the bottom quickly. It takes courage to say no to something that is bad for your customer but profitable for your business. People with that kind of courage are people worth doing business with. -- doug smith

Play Your Music

What does your ideal music sound like? Not your taste in music, not even what you usually listen to, but rather the music that you make. Maybe it's with your voice, or an instrument, or maybe the music you make is with your hands in the form of care, or maintenance, or healing. There is music in that. We all have music inside. A tempo, a beat, a pace, a tone. Can you hear your music? Does your effort lead to a flow where you can lose yourself in the art of what you do? Leaders can find that flow. Each leader has music inside. Maybe the key is to find the harmony. Who else hears the music, and how beautiful can it become? Play your music. Keep practicing. Let it flow. -- doug smith

Some of What It Takes

Leadership is hard. Challenges peck away at us, demanding response. I don't have all of the answers (who does?) but this might help a little. A little advice to myself that I am happy to share. It takes clarity to know where you are going, creativity to inspire new ways to get there, compassion to help those who are in you way, and courage to stay the course even in the face of opposition. Which of those strengths do you excel in the most? What's your secret to leadership success? -- doug smith

Relationships and the Mission

Team relationships get complicated. Sorting them out is one more tough leadership task. Recruiting the right people for your team is the first step, followed by keeping the communication on your team clear, open, honest, and respectful. A team of superstars who cannot get along will not make for a successful team. Interpersonal dynamics matter considerably. Team relationships make more sense when the mission matters. The best reason for a team to get along with each other is so that they can achieve their mission. Start there. Focus there. -- doug smith

Volume

Volume without quality is noise. More is not always better. Quality always matters. What do you think? -- doug smith

Portable

Leadership, no matter how much it is intended to be permanent, is temporary. A day comes when the direction changes, the dance shifts, and the once stable boss is lost. Lost in direction, lost in relevance, lost in the times. What if we kept our leadership portable? Leadership could be fluid, flexible, and responsive as it remains centered. As circumstances change, our leadership must flow with it while finding the strength of a foundation without the chains of stagnation. That's not easy but it's part of the art of leadership. Partly science, partly art, leadership requires us to know when it's time to stand and know when it's time to flow, and yes even know when it's time to go. Portable is more powerful than authority if authority is not portable. We don't need to ask for change in order for change to change us. -- doug smith

When You're Stuck

"What are we going to do?" "How do we fix this?" "What ideas do you have?" "I'm stuck!" We all get stuck. I've had times when I was sure that every idea in my head was wrong, wrong, wrong and useless. A bad idea is not useless, it's a start. It's a place to begin. Start with your bad ideas and watch how quickly they improve. Maybe your idea just needs to grow. -- doug smith

Right Now

Here we are. Whatever is in front of us. Whatever challenge we ponder. Now is the time. Every moment makes a difference, especially this one. -- doug smith

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