Key Questions to Stay Curious

photo of Rusty by Judi Madigan

How curious are you?

In my workshops on communication and achieving your goals I point out how important it is to listen with curiosity. We are most attentive when we are most curious. Instead of jumping to conclusions or judging before it's necessary, high performance leaders center their listening around staying curious.

How do you do that?

One way is by asking relevant questions. One of my mentors, Lester T. Shapiro (who wrote the book The Training Effectiveness Handbook) once said that the primary role of leaders is to ask relevant questions.

Here are some questions that I've found extremely relevant and that help me to remain curious:

What is your case?

We are always building a case and not always aware of the case that we're building or why. It might not even serve our best interests, and yet we can talk ourselves into anything. Stay curious about what you really want, what you think you want and (most importantly) is what you think is true really true?

What is your goal?

What do you want to achieve? Are you sure? Are you committed? Is your goal in this situation compatible with who you want to be known as?

What is your agenda?

What are you doing, consciously or unconsciously, to create the environment you just operate in? Is that what you want? What might you need to change to create your best possible world? Who can help? When will you begin?

What are your assumptions?

Interrogate your truth (as Susan Scott would say. For more on this see her great book Fierce Conversations). Identify possibilities, fallacies, misdirections, lies, hallucinations, dreams, rationalizations, and all fuzzy thinking. Stop making shit up!

What is unknown?

Identify the missing pieces. What's happening in the background? What has led to the current situation? Know what you don't know so that you can learn it. What do you need? Figure out what other people are looking for in the situation and if you can all reach a mutually beneficial outcome. Sometimes we're drawn into a competition that isn't even needed.

What do you need?

What do you need and where can you find it ini order to achieve your goals? Who can help? Be very honest about what resources you must have, and which are simply desirable but not critical. The first step to getting what you need, in order to get what you want, is to know what you need.

What are you curious about?

Stay open and curious no matter what. Consider wild, fun, miraculous possibilities. Stop judging and simply accept. You can always evaluate later on. That inner judge or inner critic is not gone for good, just on a break. Make the most of it. Challenge assumptions. Challenge limitations. Challenge imperfections. Smile.

That last point, to smile, is not a humorous throwaway. I mean it. Smile. See what a difference it makes. And for heaven's sake -- stay curious!

-- Doug Smith

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In Front

Problems bring pain. Maybe it's physical, or emotional, or logistical-- as long as the problem is there, so is that pain. When we solve the problems in front of us we can put the pain behind us. -- doug smith

Healthy Goal Focused Habits

Successful goals are supported by productive habits. Some productive goal-achieving habits include: Working on your goal everyday Scheduling time to work on your goal Breaking your goal down into smaller, easily achieved tasks Telling other people about your goal What other productive habits do you use? -- doug smith

Only Goals That Matter

We're all busy. No one can do everything. Creating meaningful goals matters in order to use our time and resources responsibly. Even when the intention is good, a bad goal is a burden. Unless the goal is important, is is worse than unimportant, it is a distraction. You don't need more distractions, do you? -- doug smith

Opportunity Uncovered

Life is opportunity. What we believe can uncover -- or cover over that opportunity. What you believe is up to you. -- doug smith

Better Of Course

Positive thinking might not fix everything that's wrong with the world but it will re-direct bundles of misdirection. How we look at people affects how we see them, which effects how they see us. Why not manage that better? Of course! Trying to mend a broken relationship? Appeal to their better self. Hoping to influence a stranger? Appeal to their better self. Building a better team for better performance? Appeal to each team member's better self. Appeal to someone's better self by first knowing that it is possible. Their better self is there even if you haven't seen it yet -- even if no one's ever seen it yet. What if you could be the person who sparks the inspiration in someone to grow better and better still? You can. -- doug smith

Strong Self-Esteem

How do the people on your team feel about themselves? How about you? How do you feel about yourself? Self-esteem matters. The way we see ourselves influences the work that we do. If you want healthy, vibrant, vital work from your team, why not make sure that the way that they think about themselves is strong? There are few things stronger than healthy self-esteem. To strengthen self-esteem among your team members: Appreciate good performance by providing specific compliments Spend time talking one-on-one with team members just to let them talk about what interests them Smile The list is longer than that of course, but start with those three things and you'll like the results. And that is good for YOUR self-esteem, isn't it? -- doug smith

Human Change

Change is hard for some people, whether that means adjusting to change or driving change, the change comes hard. For others, it seems easy because they don't stop to consider what their change initiative will do to others. Either that, or they don't care. That feels easy at first -- push hard enough and your opposition will move. Drive insistently enough and people will toe the line. At first. That degree of change will also spark resistance. It will make enemies, active as well as passive aggressive. The change slips in and then falls apart. That's not what anyone wants. The reality is, if you want to change people, you need to consider those people. Ask them. Work with them. Get them involved and listen to their feedback. It's more work, and it produces more lasting works. One person's disruption strategy is another person's aggravation. Aggravate people enough, and they will find ways to push back. What's your secret to human change? -- doug smith

Side Hustle Blues?

As a leader, do you ever sing the side-hustle blues? That's when your team seems distracted because they're tired from working multiple jobs. When I worked in food service it was all around me: team members who were already wrestling with variable schedules and also juggling multiple jobs. Maybe because they enjoyed their other gigs -- like the musicians, actors, artists, and writers on the team. Or maybe because otherwise they couldn't make ends meet so there were the side-hustles in driving, delivering, retailing, and add-on food service shifts. People are wonderful and their potential is unlimited but their physical selves are not unlimited. Which can bring on the side hustle blues when people are tough to schedule, hard to motivate, and just plain tired. You'll never eliminate the gigs that team members enjoy, nor should you. Those are not the ones really sapping the energy as much as those that they are in only for the money. Employees won't need an only-for...

The Right People

Who do you get to help you solve your problem? You, of course, that's a given. Also, people who will be impacted by any solution you try. People who are feeling the effects of the problem right now. Even (especially) people who you think may be at the root cause of the problem. Get the benefit of many ideas. Enlist the help of people who will care how it turns out. Collaborate to gain commitment. Engage the right people in creating problem solutions so that they don't become the wrong people while implementing them. -- doug smith

More, please

How many solutions does your problem need? Sometimes the answer is just one more. It could also be that your problem needs twenty more before you find the one that sticks. Finding solutions is the fun part anyway so just keep going. Create more solutions to a problem than you need in order to find one that works. -- doug smith

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