Key Questions to Stay Curious

photo of Rusty by Judi Madigan

How curious are you?

In my workshops on communication and achieving your goals I point out how important it is to listen with curiosity. We are most attentive when we are most curious. Instead of jumping to conclusions or judging before it's necessary, high performance leaders center their listening around staying curious.

How do you do that?

One way is by asking relevant questions. One of my mentors, Lester T. Shapiro (who wrote the book The Training Effectiveness Handbook) once said that the primary role of leaders is to ask relevant questions.

Here are some questions that I've found extremely relevant and that help me to remain curious:

What is your case?

We are always building a case and not always aware of the case that we're building or why. It might not even serve our best interests, and yet we can talk ourselves into anything. Stay curious about what you really want, what you think you want and (most importantly) is what you think is true really true?

What is your goal?

What do you want to achieve? Are you sure? Are you committed? Is your goal in this situation compatible with who you want to be known as?

What is your agenda?

What are you doing, consciously or unconsciously, to create the environment you just operate in? Is that what you want? What might you need to change to create your best possible world? Who can help? When will you begin?

What are your assumptions?

Interrogate your truth (as Susan Scott would say. For more on this see her great book Fierce Conversations). Identify possibilities, fallacies, misdirections, lies, hallucinations, dreams, rationalizations, and all fuzzy thinking. Stop making shit up!

What is unknown?

Identify the missing pieces. What's happening in the background? What has led to the current situation? Know what you don't know so that you can learn it. What do you need? Figure out what other people are looking for in the situation and if you can all reach a mutually beneficial outcome. Sometimes we're drawn into a competition that isn't even needed.

What do you need?

What do you need and where can you find it ini order to achieve your goals? Who can help? Be very honest about what resources you must have, and which are simply desirable but not critical. The first step to getting what you need, in order to get what you want, is to know what you need.

What are you curious about?

Stay open and curious no matter what. Consider wild, fun, miraculous possibilities. Stop judging and simply accept. You can always evaluate later on. That inner judge or inner critic is not gone for good, just on a break. Make the most of it. Challenge assumptions. Challenge limitations. Challenge imperfections. Smile.

That last point, to smile, is not a humorous throwaway. I mean it. Smile. See what a difference it makes. And for heaven's sake -- stay curious!

-- Doug Smith

Comments

Go Get It

It might seem that all you need to achieve that goal is a little help. A bit of a boost. Someone to provide feedback and encouragement. You're right. If all you need is a little help to achieve your goal, then definitely go get that help. The person who could help you really does want to help you. -- doug smith

A Winning Game

It would be nice to win the game. But, do you ever feel like you're in a game that keeps shifting the rules and making it easy to make progress but impossible to win? You've probably noticed lots of game elements creeping into service. Points, incentives, expiring coupons followed by new expiring coupons, leader-boards...on an on a relentless attack on service comes from playing a game designed -- you guessed it -- to maximize profit. If the customer is happy, fine, but the point is to make money. Not to put too fine a point on it but that's a lousy point. What if there could be something better? What if customer service excellence became playing a game where the customer always wins and that makes you happy? You don't have to. "give away the store" to achieve a winning game for all of the players. Just stop stacking the rules against customers and watch how much more they will want to do business with you. -- doug smith

Time and Feelings

Using time productively is of course important. Managing work and activities, reducing wasted time, optimizing performance, these all matter. And you know what else matters? How you feel about it. The time is yours. Even when other people make decisions about your time, your approach to what you do is always up to you. It's not just what you do with your time that matters, it's also how you feel about what you do with your time. What's your answer? -- doug smith

The Goal Sequence

Every goal leads to another goal. If you've achieved your goal, the next goal gives you increased opportunity to grow. If you've missed your goal, the next goal gives you a chance to learn and correct. Nobody achieves all of their goals but every goal gives you something. Get that goal done and see what great goal comes next. -- doug smith

Enthusiastic Support

You can achieve many great goals on your own. Getting help from others will increase your successes. Why would anyone help you? Maybe if they owe you a favor, but much more likely it's when your goal ignites something in them. Lights up their enthusiasm. Makes them more motivated. A poorly written goals is easily ignored. A great goal, one that is clear, gains interest and support. Write a great goal and see what it attracts. Great goals gather enthusiastic support. -- doug smith

Win Some More

Everybody likes to win. Can we win when it's not even a competition? Sure we can. When we can will without requiring that someone else lose, the win is magnified. Celebrated. Treasured. Try saying the words "you win" and see how it changes the outcome so that you win, too. It's not surrender -- it's collaboration. -- doug smith

Personal Problems

It's the system. Or maybe it's the process. It might not be you at all. It might not be your team at all. Personal problems come from things we say and do, and they can also come from an unfair, deeply flawed system. Personal problems can also be caused by broken processes. And yet we often try to solve problems with personal solutions: work harder, work faster, work smarter, muscle up and carry on. Can't you just solve your own personal problem? Personal problems with systemic causes are hard to solve with personal solutions. Personal problems may not be personal -- the system or process doesn't care who you are -- but they're still problems. -- doug smith

Good News, Bad News

The bad news is that you are the biggest thief of your time. The good news is that you can change that. We all waste time. We can all waste less. Productivity is a choice. -- doug smith

Time and Possibility

There was a time when time seemed to close in on me like a shrinking cell. I could hear the ticking like a serious soundtrack constantly reminding me that urgency had to rule or time would shrink away. But time doesn't shrink away. Time does not care what you do about it and if you hear ticking it's from a real clock, not your lost time. Time is not a ticking clock, it's a fluid sea of possibility. Find the wave and ride. Connect with your school of creatives and invent new boundaries. Swim and win. The possibilities are endless. And...so is time. -- doug smith

Not Perfect?

Have you ever held onto a problem just because you couldn't find the perfect solution, an elegant, efficient, bruise-free choice? That effort -- for perfection -- has slowed me down a number of times. Perfection can be such a bother, because nothing is perfect in this life and never will be. There's no perfect way to solve a problem -- but you don't need perfection to solve it. If you can find the best way, that is certainly good enough. -- doug smith

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