Key Questions to Stay Curious

photo of Rusty by Judi Madigan

How curious are you?

In my workshops on communication and achieving your goals I point out how important it is to listen with curiosity. We are most attentive when we are most curious. Instead of jumping to conclusions or judging before it's necessary, high performance leaders center their listening around staying curious.

How do you do that?

One way is by asking relevant questions. One of my mentors, Lester T. Shapiro (who wrote the book The Training Effectiveness Handbook) once said that the primary role of leaders is to ask relevant questions.

Here are some questions that I've found extremely relevant and that help me to remain curious:

What is your case?

We are always building a case and not always aware of the case that we're building or why. It might not even serve our best interests, and yet we can talk ourselves into anything. Stay curious about what you really want, what you think you want and (most importantly) is what you think is true really true?

What is your goal?

What do you want to achieve? Are you sure? Are you committed? Is your goal in this situation compatible with who you want to be known as?

What is your agenda?

What are you doing, consciously or unconsciously, to create the environment you just operate in? Is that what you want? What might you need to change to create your best possible world? Who can help? When will you begin?

What are your assumptions?

Interrogate your truth (as Susan Scott would say. For more on this see her great book Fierce Conversations). Identify possibilities, fallacies, misdirections, lies, hallucinations, dreams, rationalizations, and all fuzzy thinking. Stop making shit up!

What is unknown?

Identify the missing pieces. What's happening in the background? What has led to the current situation? Know what you don't know so that you can learn it. What do you need? Figure out what other people are looking for in the situation and if you can all reach a mutually beneficial outcome. Sometimes we're drawn into a competition that isn't even needed.

What do you need?

What do you need and where can you find it ini order to achieve your goals? Who can help? Be very honest about what resources you must have, and which are simply desirable but not critical. The first step to getting what you need, in order to get what you want, is to know what you need.

What are you curious about?

Stay open and curious no matter what. Consider wild, fun, miraculous possibilities. Stop judging and simply accept. You can always evaluate later on. That inner judge or inner critic is not gone for good, just on a break. Make the most of it. Challenge assumptions. Challenge limitations. Challenge imperfections. Smile.

That last point, to smile, is not a humorous throwaway. I mean it. Smile. See what a difference it makes. And for heaven's sake -- stay curious!

-- Doug Smith

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Finding Collaborators

Who do you call on a project when you need help? Do you have a team of people you rely on? Or, is every project a struggle to find help? Maybe we should be constantly looking for help. Teaming up. Partnering up. What if we spent some of our strategic planning time in finding collaborators? Anyone could be a collaborator. They could be working in another department or process. They might even be in a different organization. You might not have even met yet. Still, the potential is there. Anyone could be a collaborator and sometimes we just need to ask. "Hey, I've got this great project I'm working on. Can I tell you about it?' If it really IS a great project, why wouldn't they want to hear all about it? And then, if they''re right for the project, your team could be about to grow. -- doug smith

Goals are for People Like You

It's hard work. Most people are not willing to put in that work. Waiting for miracles or hoping to luck into achieving your goals might sound great for a video spin as a win but usually does not pay off -- it doesn't work unless YOU do. Goals are not meant for lazy people. Goals are for people willing to work in order to get what they want. People like you, right? -- doug smith

The Word of the Day

The word of the day is love. The word of the month is love. The word of your life is love. Isn't that the best word -- and advice -- ever? -- doug smith

Accept and Level Up

It's a challenge to constantly strive for improvement. With an ever-raising bar there's no sense of accomplishment because we're waiting for the next improvement. Push, push, push! It may not be a science, but it sure is an art to be able to balance yourself and accept what is while working to level up more. Of course it can improve. Nothing is perfect. We are as leaders all about continuous improvement. Let's just remember to appreciate what we have already earned, what our teams have already accomplished. Imagine better, but appreciate what is. Your happy place is dynamic. -- doug smith

Make It Happen

When you decide you'd like to have something, or achieve something, how do you begin? It's easier to get what you want when you first set a goal. Make it clear, make it appealing, make it possible...and then, make it happen. -- doug smith

This Time Is Yours

If it feels like other people are deciding things for you, take comfort in the fact that it has always been the case -- always -- that some people will do their best to decide everything for you. Whether you allow that or not is up to you. Whether you lead ahead or follow (and fall) behind is also up to you. This time is your time -- embrace it completely. -- doug smith "The present time has one advantage over every other -- it is our own" -- Charles Caleb Colton Source

Are You Eager?

Maybe that road is speckled with potholes. Maybe that highway is heavy with tolls. How much do you want to go where you need to go? You can handle any rough road if you're eager enough to reach your destination. -- doug smith

Better Communication Solves Problems

Imagine how many problems we could solve by improving our ability to communicate. Interpersonal problems, organizational problems, team problems, political problems, maybe even scientific problems -- all would be better managed if we communicated more effectively. I'm working on getting better at that. How about you? -- doug smith

Create a Better Future

Who is the future up to? Someone else? All of us? Today, this moment, I want to think about some problem that I can help solve. Some person that I can comfort. Something outside of myself that will make a difference. How do you feel about that? Solving problems is about creating a better future. That's something each of us can do, and needs to do, to see that better future come. What do you think? -- Doug Smith

Move Past Doubt

So many times I have allowed doubt to get in my way. While it's wise to pay attention to risks and to create plans for overcoming obstacles, doubt is often an unnecessary encumbrance. It holds back without giving. It hinders without helping. When we develop the skills we need to achieve our goals, doubt is just annoying. Doubt doesn't diminish your ability unless you let it. Hear the doubt, then do what is necessary. Figure it out, then move past the doubt. -- doug smith

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