doug smith training

  How often do you avoid difficult conversations? Most people avoid difficult talks a lot, don't you think. I've been known to conduct both ends of a conversation in my head for weeks, and never get around to actually initiating the conversation. Because that's what it takes -- to initiate the conversation. Maybe even to frame it from the standpoint of you don't know HOW it will turn out (so what's the point of rehearsing it?) but for sure you do know that it will not be perfect. A difficult conversation does not need to be perfect. Nothing ever is. Difficult conversations become easier when we don't expect them to be perfect -- or easy. -- doug smith

Whenever I ask the question "is there too much drama at work?" the answer is a resounding and nearly unanimous "yes!"  What do you think? Where does all that drama come from? Drama comes from conflict, from unmet needs, from interpersonal problems, from economic hardship, from overwork and overwhelm...drama comes from an endless supply of sources. But... Drama enters on our own invitation. You can have the problems and the drama, or you can simply deal with the problems and leave the drama where it belongs: in entertainment. Having worked for many years in entertainment I learned that drama is better left on the stage and we need better ways to meet the rage.  What do you think? -- doug smith  

Sometimes people can get on your nerves. Interrupting, ignoring, disagreeing, even laughing at the wrong time can feel like an intended insult. Taking that kind of interaction as an insult, though, will not improve the quality of the interaction.  I like to think of the people who drive me crazy as the people who spark more learning.  It might not be the lesson they want to teach me that I learn, but there is certainly something there worth learning. If we missed all learning that wasn't fun we'd miss a whole lot of learning.  Those annoying learning opportunities are sometimes exactly what we need. -- doug smith ]

There have been times when I wanted to say something because I thought that it was important and yet didn't say it. I learned that avoiding a difficult conversation usually leads to even more difficulties. Keeping a problem to yourself is not a great strategy. The words won't be perfect. We might sweat when we say them. Disagreement could rise. That's fine. If it is important to you, say it. Sometimes it's less about what you say and more about your willingness to say it. If it takes courage to speak, you should probably speak. -- doug smith  

Do you avoid tough conversations? If we know that we need to talk something over, but avoid it because it makes us uneasy, the difficulty remains unresolved. If we avoid talking with someone because THEY are difficult to talk with (maybe they sulk, or yell, or roll their eyes...) the problem remains stuck AND it remains ours. That's not what leaders want. Taking the time to learn how to better communicate in those tough situations helps leaders to reach their team members, assert their needs with their bosses, and collaborate more successfully with their peers. It's a win for everyone when communication prospers with clarity, courage, creativity, and compassion. It's not easy. That's what differentiates high performance leaders. High performance leaders initiate the tough conversations that others avoid . It gets easier with training and practice, just like any other skill. And while tough conversations may never feel like a breeze, they are often the path to