doug smith training

When you work to solve a problem, what work do you put into improving communication? How much of your problem solving action plan is focused on communication? Communication matters. Few problems can be truly permanently solved unless there is a change in how people communicate. What's your plan? You may not have solved the problem unless you've also improved or enhanced communication. What does enhanced communication look like? Better, deeper conversations. More trusting relationships. More powerful presentations. More productive meetings. When project managers do an outstanding job of delivering on their project and solving a problem, they improve communication along the way. What are you doing to improve your communication today? -- Doug Smith Front Range Leadership:  High Performance Leadership Training doug smith training:  helping people communicate more effectively What have you learned today?

When I was growing up there was a TV commercial for 7Up that branded the soft drink as the "uncola". It was defined by what it was not. It was an interesting experiment directed at getting people to change a habit to a new solution based on their old solution. Instead of drinking Coke, drink 7Up. I never became a 7Up drinker (Mountain Dew was more my style) but I have borrowed the phrase slightly in something that I call the magic unquestion. It's an unquestion because it's not really a question, although it acts like one. And you can substitute it in situations where you might be looking for another question but can't think of one. Here is the magic unquestion: Tell me more about that. It's not a question, but it keeps the other person talking. It uncovers more information. It stays nonjudgmental and does the work of a question. It changes my habit from closing the inquiry to keeping it open. Tell me more about that. When you need to talk about it,

Do you focus mainly on possibilities or on limitations? We need people who focus on limitations so that we can determine how to overcome them or avoid frustrating our efforts. We need people who focus on possibilities because the answers are out there, we just need to find them. There are always better ways to communicate. There are always better solutions. There are always new ways to bring joy and to reduce suffering. These are all in the possibilities that we develop. I'd much rather talk about possibilities than limitations . Often, by expanding possibilities we overcome what we had perceived to be as limitations. We can get creative. We can patiently pursue perfection without judging our imperfections. Possibilities are our future. Without thinking critically of those who think critically, I like the expanded (and expanding) view. What's your view? -- Doug Smith

How do you feel about broken promises? I hate them. They break my heart. They tear me up. And yet, I've broken lots of promises of my own. It feels different when someone else breaks a promise. They've made a terrible mistake. And yet when it's me who has broken the promise I can easily find a rationalization or a reason or even put blinders on so that I don't see the broken promise. Some days we all have blinders on. Some things we can't see because they're too close. Then, what does a promise mean? Is it really so transitory? Is it really just the hope of a promise and not really a promise? When we make a promise, how long are we obligated to keep it? A promise is a promise. To break it requires a new agreement. If both people do not reach that new agreement, a broken promise is an infraction, a harm. I'm learning oh so well to be very careful about promises. Careful about what I promise, and careful about what I accept from others as a promi

Have you ever caught someone simply "going through the motions" in communicating with you? They say the right words, their motions seems fine, they just aren't fully engaged in what's going on. They appear to listen, but it feels like their mind is somewhere else. So many of us go through the motions. We read our mobile phones when we're with loved ones we seldom see. We keep an eye on the television while our significant others tells us something important (hint - when it comes from your significant other it's all important), we phone it in. It's one of my biggest faults and it has recently come back to haunt me as I experienced that level of inattentive attention returned. It doesn't look mean, it doesn't look premeditated, and yet it hurts at a level that sinks gradually deeper until it can't be excised. The other day I was riding my bike and I came upon a man playing with his dog. At first it looked really charming. The dog was ve

Are there conversations that scare you? It's easy to quote Eleanor Roosevelt and say "face into your fears" but the reality is that there are some conversations that freeze us. Some discussions that put us off, so we put them off. I know that I have missed some vital conversational opportunities. I expect that to change. If we want better conversations, we need to initiate them when the opportunity emerges (not when we feel like it, right then and there). Let's keep the conversation going. Let's talk when we need to talk. Let's build our relationships, our teams, and our organizations using much more effective communication. It takes hard work, it takes courage, but as I have recently discovered in many startling ways, how you communicate is who you are. Who you are to yourself, who you are to other people, the who of you that you create. It's big. It's scary. It's critically important. I'm willing to work through the fear of a tough conv

Do you have regrets? I have some interpersonal regrets that are so raw, so fresh, and so painful that they can immobilize me. I know that things will improve, that I will get beyond these changes, but they beg for examination and learning. Even when we know what we're doing, there's no guarantee that we will do what we know is best. The clearest example is in our conversations. So much is left unsaid. So much is caged and framed in quasi-positive screens in hopes of avoiding confrontation or discomfort. But we need that confrontation. We need to work through that discomfort. Whenever I have, my life has dramatically improved. When ever I have failed to speak both my heart and my mind, my truth at that moment, the result has lingered, faltered, and hurt. As Susan Scott might say, "We're bigger than that." I learned much from reading Susan Scott's books, especially Fierce Conversations, and from seeing her speak. I was even lucky enough to meet her bri

How curious are you? Problems bother us. They get in the way. They ruin our day. They create havoc where we'd rather have peace. Why do they do that? When we can stay curious about our problems it helps us to generate more meaningful, more powerful, and more sustainable solutions. Where did that problem come from? Why does it stick around? What benefits might it be generating to someone else? Is it really a problem or are we locked into a conflict or competition? Who else is feeling what we're feeling? Why? Why? Why? (useful to ask about a problem - but be careful when it comes to asking "why" about or from a person. That can trigger defensiveness in a hurry!) It's tough to solve a problem or resolve a conflict without big amounts of curiosity. Curiosity about causes. Curiosity about opportunities. Curiosity about solutions. Curiosity about possibilities. Once we begin to get more curious about possibilities, our possibilities increase.  And, when our

What are you attached to that's holding you back or slowing you down? The way things used to be? The dream that no longer makes sense? That relationship that is over but lingers in your memory? Or, maybe it's doubt about your abilities or capacity? Sometimes we hold onto our doubts so tightly that we fall in love with them. Let them go. Release those doubts, worries, and fears. They aren't helping you. But they are slowing you down. What are you attached to that's holding you back? Are you willing to let go of that today? -- Doug Smith Front Range Leadership:   High Performance Leadership Training doug smith training:  how to achieve your goals

Do you have all the help you need to achieve your biggest goals? Do you have big goals in place that will change your life? How will you achieve those goals? Our really biggest, life-changing goals usually require help. Help from other people to keep us on track. Help from other people to motivate us when things get tough. Help from other people to break down barriers and think of creative ways to achieve what seems impossible. What will it take to interest more people in your goals? People who can help. People who would benefit from what you have to offer once your goal is complete. People who care. Is is a presentation? Is it a conversation? Is it a picture? What will it take? And - when will you get started? -- Doug Smith Front Range Leadership:   High Performance Leadership Training doug smith training:  how to achieve your goals