What Does A Promise Mean?

How do you feel about broken promises?

I hate them. They break my heart. They tear me up. And yet, I've broken lots of promises of my own.

It feels different when someone else breaks a promise. They've made a terrible mistake. And yet when it's me who has broken the promise I can easily find a rationalization or a reason or even put blinders on so that I don't see the broken promise.

Some days we all have blinders on. Some things we can't see because they're too close.

Then, what does a promise mean?

Is it really so transitory? Is it really just the hope of a promise and not really a promise? When we make a promise, how long are we obligated to keep it?

A promise is a promise. To break it requires a new agreement. If both people do not reach that new agreement, a broken promise is an infraction, a harm.

I'm learning oh so well to be very careful about promises. Careful about what I promise, and careful about what I accept from others as a promise. Maybe they mean it, and maybe they don't. From now on, I expect the truth about promises.

I'm not sure about your promise until I understand its premise.

What does it mean to you? When is it breakable? How enduring is it? Not from intentions, but from practice.

It will take practice - working to keep communication channels so clear that there is no doubt as to what we mean when we make a promise, but I am finding it absolutely necessary. I'm one broken promise away from believing there's no such thing as a promise.

And that would be a terrible belief to adapt.

Fortunately, there is something stronger than a promise - broken or otherwise. Luckily, there is something so strong that no one can ever take it away from you. Happily, we can navigate a landscape of shattered promises with that one stronger thing: forgiveness.

Letting go. Letting be. Forgiving.

Once the promise is gone, we can push ourselves down chasing its ghost, or we can forgive.

But that next promise...I'm going to make sure I know what it means.

How about you?

-- Doug Smith

Comments

Surprise!

What have been your major changes? What magnificent visions have you had that you eventually released? Sometimes, to make room for the next great thing, we need to let go of the less than great wish we're holding onto. What looks like success at one point in our lives because less convincing as it slips away, hides, or becomes impossible. Life goes on. New dreams form. Greatness always welcomes us to new opportunities. If your vision of success changes, that is also success. You are now free to be great (and happy) in another direction. Life goes on; the joy in it is up to you. -- doug smith

Something Else

We do it frequently -- blame people for what's wrong. And when we blame people for something they did not cause it often makes things worse because now they feel bad about it and maybe even defensive. Even though it feels like people get i the way of perfection, it's usually something else. Fix the process. Fix the rule. Fix the presentation. Fix the product. People are better than we realize, and seldom to blame for service breakdowns. -- doug smith Training Activity Make a list of the three most recent service breakdowns that you have experienced. For each breakdown, score on a scale of 1 - 10 how much of that breakdown was caused by: Process Rules Presentation Product People Now you know where to start fixing things.

Miracle Service?

Training is important. Service is a priority. But you just can't train someone to provide great service and satisfy a customer if the product is bad. Maybe for a moment, but not for long can you keep anyone smiling when the product is poking them in the eye. The best customer service rep in the world can't fix a bad product. Once you realize that you're dealing with a bad product there's no reason to be angry with the service rep. They know it's bad, too. They'd fix it if they could. They likely can't. When the product is bad, find a better product. -- doug smith Training Activity What if that assumption is incorrect? What if you really can make things better with superior service, even when the product is broken beyond repair? What would that look like? What would you train your people to say? What would it look like for someone to create such a great relationship with a customer that the product was inconsequential?

Improving

Expecting good people to be perfect is expecting too much but expecting them to constantly improve is reasonable. Expecting everyone to constantly is reasonable. How can you as a leader make that happen? 1. Tell your people that it (constant improvement) is your expectation. 2. Support your people in their development. Give them the training you know they need AND the training that they ask for. 3. Coach at every opportunity. Check in on their goals. Ask about their progress. Ask how you can help. The good news is the more that you do those three things the more you are also constantly improving. And, there's nothing like walking the talk to get more people improving. -- doug smith

Follow The Script?

Have you ever had a conversation with a customer service representative and you could tell that they were simply following a script? How did you feel about that? Sometimes the script works, but usually it doesn't feel human to the customer. As we get more and more responses from actual robots, it's worth considering how much better we can give human responses as humans. Quick Service Do's and Don'ts: Don't just follow a script when you hear it's not working. Don't assume that the customer is wrong. Don't take it personally when the customer gets upset. Don't argue with the customer. Instead, do these: Do listen to understand the customer's needs. Do empathize with the customer. Do collaborate rather than dictate. Do think creatively, even if you need to pause, in order to find better answers. That's not the whole list, of course, but it's a useful place to start. No matter who we're talking to we should always be better than a robot...

Positive Choice

Yes or no? Certainly not maybe because that takes you nowhere. Yes or no? I don't always get the answer right, but I feel sure about this: yes is better than a guess. Yes gets us moving. Yes opens doors. Yes starts the experiment and learning begins. Yes is better than a guess. And, if you need to guess, guess yes! -- doug smith

Growth

No one does everything. It's not about achieving everything. You don't need to achieve all of your goals everyday, but achieving any of your goals puts you ahead. What goal are you working on today? -- doug smith

Face Up To It

What;'s the longest you've ever gone without working on a goal that you were sincere about setting? Maybe your intention was true, but your execution was lacking. I don't think there's an absolute rule about this, but this feels right: If you haven't worked on a goal for over a month ask yourself why it's still on your list of goals. Maybe it's not really a goal at all. Just because a goal seems impressive doesn't mean that it's worth working on. Face up to it: do the work, or let it go... -- doug smith

What's Your Cause

What's your cause? No matter what level of leadership we choose to lead in, our chances of gaining support depend on why we are leading. What's the cause? What's the purpose? What's the intended result? People look for leaders of causes they believe in. What's your cause? -- doug smith

Bright Spots

We need to know how to improve, so as leaders part of our job is to provide the feedback-for-improvement that our teams need. Specifically, timely, kindly. It's easy to remember that if not so easy to do. We should also remember to call attention to what is working. Let people know what is great. Share our stories of how the team is excelling. Sharing the bright spots lights the way. The more we see what works, the better we can make it work. What positive bright spot can you share with your team today? -- doug smith

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