Self-Selected Ethics

Why do leaders get into trouble?

Surely, there's enough for a book in that one question. Still, it's worth asking on an individual level. How do we as leaders avoid trouble? How do we stop ourselves from falling into our own self-shaped traps? There are pit falls just our size waiting for us, and very often we march right into them as if we were indestructible.

Like that skateboarder going down the hill in the center of a highway, forgetting that someone else might not see them.

Like that not-for-profit executive who makes a million dollars off of the donations of others. "But I'm doing good!" they exclaim.

Or, like that little lie we tell to prevent ourselves from an otherwise awkward moment of explaining why we didn't achieve a goal.

Awkward indeed. Our personal distortions, if we're not careful, get us into trouble. And when we are leaders our troubles become the troubles of others. Trouble yourself all you want, but please be careful of those who trust you.

It's easy enough to tell a leader "stay ethical." but that's not enough. We've got to define ethical. We've got to reach agreement on the rules, the nuances, and (gasp) the exceptions (because like it or not -- and I DON'T like it -- there are usually exceptions).

Considering an ethical system absolute is a common misunderstanding about ethics.

Self-selected ethics are seldom pure. Ethics change. How we respond to them is always individual.

Talk about the rules you are keeping, and then please, keep them.

-- doug smith

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Save that thought...

Whenever I ask a class "have you ever said anything that you regret saying?" the answer is always 100% yes. A mumble easily becomes a stumble when it's tainted with trauma, distrust, anger, or sorrow. There are things we could say that don't help in any way. It's better to keep those things to o oneself. I had a boss once who wisely told me "Doug, when you're upset, pause and count to ten." "And what if I stay upset?" "Then count to a hundred." She might as well have said count to a thousand, because I knew exactly what she meant. Some things do not need to be said. We've all got better words inside us willing to take that mistake away. -- doug smith

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It isn't possible or necessary to solve every problem. Focus on the problem in front of you. Solving that first problem builds momentum and experience for solving the next problem. You'll never solve them all, but imagine how much better things will be after you've solved the ones right in front of you. -- doug smith

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