Self-Selected Ethics

Why do leaders get into trouble?

Surely, there's enough for a book in that one question. Still, it's worth asking on an individual level. How do we as leaders avoid trouble? How do we stop ourselves from falling into our own self-shaped traps? There are pit falls just our size waiting for us, and very often we march right into them as if we were indestructible.

Like that skateboarder going down the hill in the center of a highway, forgetting that someone else might not see them.

Like that not-for-profit executive who makes a million dollars off of the donations of others. "But I'm doing good!" they exclaim.

Or, like that little lie we tell to prevent ourselves from an otherwise awkward moment of explaining why we didn't achieve a goal.

Awkward indeed. Our personal distortions, if we're not careful, get us into trouble. And when we are leaders our troubles become the troubles of others. Trouble yourself all you want, but please be careful of those who trust you.

It's easy enough to tell a leader "stay ethical." but that's not enough. We've got to define ethical. We've got to reach agreement on the rules, the nuances, and (gasp) the exceptions (because like it or not -- and I DON'T like it -- there are usually exceptions).

Considering an ethical system absolute is a common misunderstanding about ethics.

Self-selected ethics are seldom pure. Ethics change. How we respond to them is always individual.

Talk about the rules you are keeping, and then please, keep them.

-- doug smith

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Small Steps

Incremental goals make geometric goals possible. Little goals get giant goals going. Whatever your goal is, break it down into something small enough to do right now. One step forward is all you need to get going. - - doug smith

The Most Positive

What if we're the most happy when we're the most positive? It's not magic -- we still need to do the work. It's not miraculous or metaphysical -- we do still control our own destiny. But, why not make the control positive? Why not overcome any negative patterns that stand in the way? You've got this. I'm positive. -- doug smith

Speak Your Mind

I like people who speak their mind, people who say what they're thinking with radical honesty. You can learn a lot that way, especially when you disagree. Not everyone will appreciate radical honesty. They want you to hide the ugly truths. They want you to sugar-coat the feedback. That's why even when telling your truth without filters feels right (and it does) we still need to ready for reactions to that truth. Disagreement takes many forms. Some forms of disagreement are healthy, and some are not. You've no doubt experienced both. Speak your mind but remember that it will likely generate a response. -- doug smith

What Can Be?

What can be possible right now? Is there a problem facing you that you've been avoiding because it feels like there are already just too many things going on? It's easy to fall into an "all or nothing" mindset where, unable to solve ALL of the problems we manage to solve NONE of the problems. That there are too many problems to solve them all shouldn't stop us from solving the ones we can. If what can be is one solution to one problem that is a wonderful place to begin. -- doug smith

Can I Ask Too Many Questions?

Have you ever been really interrogated? Have you ever been asked so many questions that it felt aggressive and intrusive, like an inquisition? There are times when it feels like we've had enough questioning. That could be a valid conclusion, or it could be a sign to open our minds and expand our perspective. Leaders must ask questions. We must ask open-ended, probing, curious questions. The truth could be in the fifteenth answer instead of the first. Keep asking. Respectfully ask, of course. And, then keep asking. Can I ask too many questions? What's your answer? -- doug smith

Practical

Build things that people need and you'll always be needed. Just remember, you may have to change how you build those things. People's needs change and those needs are often more complicated than they seem. There is also a power difference between "classic" and "obsolete." As hard as it is, leaders need to navigate that difference. Build things that people need -- practical goods. And keep improving how you do it. -- doug smith

Show Up!

"You've got to be there. Big decisions are being made!" my former boss told me a long time ago. "If your voice is in the room you might be heard..." It was good advice then and it still is. Show up. When there's a goal you're working on and an opportunity appears to advance that goal -- show up. When changes are being made that will affect you -- show up! When it matters to you -- show up. You won't always get what you want by showing up, but you never will if you don't! -- doug smith

Solution Resistance

Why would anyone resist solving a problem? As frustrating as that feels, there must be a reason. Even when it is counter-productive. Even when it makes no sense at all -- people will stay stuck in their problems and avoid anything that resembles a solution. Maybe they're sure it will work out on its own (it won't). Or, maybe in a tough case they unknowingly are addicted to their pain, that cycle of bringing up what hurts even though it hurts and eventually even because it hurts. It's familiar. The chemicals do their dance of doom and the darkness feels almost comforting. I'm familiar with that pattern, that rut, that doom. It wasn't judgment that pulled me out. It wasn't force. It wasn't even an intervention. It was slow, steady, patient, loving conversations. Talk about it. Listen. Empathize. Some people won't want you to solve a problem. It's worth finding out why. Just imagine the possibilities! -- doug smith P.S. I'm not a therapist (altho...

What You Need

We won't succeed every time. Some goals fall away. Some dreams perish. Keep moving. Keep growing. Try again. When one dream dies there's room for another to arise. You've got what you need to succeed. -- doug smith

Goal Action

Have you ever talked about a goal a lot but then didn't achieve it? Talking about a goal is great, but no substitute for action. Goals, plan, action. Remember the action! -- doug smith

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