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Showing posts with the label truth

Let's Choose Honesty

Stay healthy, stay happy, stay honest. At least one is all up to you. We all prefer good health. With good health comes many blessings. Every day I am humbly grateful for my good health.  Happiness? That can be a moving target sometimes. Just when you think you've got a formula figured out, the rules change. But, we can influence our own happiness and yes, maybe even control it. Even when our circumstances are less than ideal, our attitude can determine our level of happiness. And that brings me to the third thing on this list: honesty. That one is completely up to you. We each determine how honest we will be. To quibble a bit, it may not be a matter of "how honest" anyone is: you and I are either honest, or not. There isn't really a middle ground. You can't be a "little bit honest." But we're not perfect. We have to work at it all -- even being honest because every day there is some new temptation to twist the truth, hide the facts, or stay silent w

The Trouble With Absolutes

We could argue absolute truth all day, all week, all year. Let's not. What if there is some element of doubt? What if there are undiscovered truths underneath the surface? We could take the time to experiment and learn along the way. We could conduct dialogues that explore rather than expose, that interrogate rather than interrupt. We could probe instead of poke.  The trouble with absolutes is that if you're wrong you are absolutely wrong. Let's stay curious instead. -- doug smith

The Truth Will Prevail

High performance leaders tell the truth. Since that can sometimes be hard, we are often tempted to stretch the truth (in other words, to lie.) While lies can fool people for a while, the truth will inevitably emerge. How will you feel when it does? Telling a lie only proves that you haven't thought of a better answer.  You do have a better answer: the truth. The truth will prevail. Tell the truth. -- doug smith

Find the Truth

A truth that you don't know is more dangerous than a truth that you DO know. Find the truth. You can take it. -- doug smith

Darn Lies

Lies lead to lies and there lies the problem. Clarity is the solution. We tolerate, we generate, too many darn lies. What are we afraid of with truth? Why do we try to deceive one another? Lies, lies, lies. A lie opens the door to air the truth, if we can spot the lie. We can always spot the lie. It's not like they are so hard to find. Besides being everywhere, they are usually painfully obvious. Let's lean  on the truth instead. The cold, hard, honest truth. If the truth isn't kind, there is more truth to find. Keep looking. Keep telling the truth. -- doug smith

Open the Door

When was the last time you caught someone in a lie? How did you react? It was probably not that long ago, maybe even today. People lie to each other everyday. Some of those lies we let pass, but some startle us so much in their boldness, in their malice, in their deviousness that we are emotionally moved to do something about it. What should we do? We could react with anger. That is sure to stir up more anger. We could react with sadness. Surely, we have every reason to be sad, but what will that accomplish? A better reaction? Call to question the statement in question. Here are some things that work for me: "I'm not sure that I understood what you just said, could you say it another way?" or "I'm not sure I agree with that. Can you convince me?" or "Wow." (the word I sometimes say when I can't think of what to say -- OR I'm thinking of a word that would not be socially acceptable or polite. And yes, even when you catch a lie

Truth Provides Sustainable Esteem

A lie is a try to buy self-esteem and the price is too high. -- doug smith

Telling The Truth

What makes it so hard sometimes to tell the truth? Maybe because people will react, and then we have to be ready for that reaction. But if the reaction you want is trust, understanding, and belief, then keep on telling the truth. Before you give your honest answer, make sure it IS your honest answer. Someone might believe you. -- doug smith

Could There Be More to the Truth?

My goal is to tell the truth. All of the time. That's more difficult than you might expect, given our daily temptations to tell little lies of convenience -- especially when we consider that NOT telling something a truth they are entitled to hear is a kind of lie of omission. No one is perfect, but with a little work and a clear intention, we certainly CAN tell the truth. It's a habit worth developing. Once you get into that habit, of telling the truth all of the time, you may find yourself insisting on hearing only the truth from others. That's even more difficult. Some people lie so much that they don't even realize it. Some people lie so much that they come to believe their own lies. What do you do with that? All we can do is to start by telling the truth. All the truth we know. We may later learn that we didn't even know all of the truth, or that someone else's view of a situation is different from ours (and just as true.) Still, let's start with

Uncover the Lies

We all tell lies. In my workshops I often ask the question "Who do we lie to the most?" and the answer follows quickly as "ourselves." We lie the most to ourselves. Weird, isn't it? How can we even fool ourselves? But someone we do. It's so easy to lie to ourselves that we usually don't realize that we're lying. Take a moment. Breathe. Give yourself the truth test once in a while (say, every day!) You CAN handle the truth. -- doug smith

Leaders Recognize Anger

Are your team members ever angry with you? Whether you are a creative artist, a business person, a not-for-profit consultant...whatever -- when we are doing important, passionate work we will sometimes generate anger. It might be unexpected. It might be provoked. People get angry. Anger can cloud our understanding. We can disagree. We disagree every day with some one (and sometimes it feels like half the world!) The better path, better than getting upset, is to clarify. If we disagree, we can figure out how to understand. Unless we understand, all the anger in the world is wasted energy. High performance leaders find ways to disagree respectfully while staying open to new possibilities. Ever been wrong? I'm wrong at least once a day. Disagreeing with my truth is often useful. Getting angry at it seldom is. -- doug smith

Tell the Truth -- to Yourself

Who do we lie to the most? Ourselves. We talk ourselves out of things we want to do (or don't want to do...) We lie about our abilities, our authority, our status. Maybe we lie because it is safer than taking a risk. Maybe we lie because the truth is so harsh. Who are we fooling? When we fool ourselves, you know what that makes us. I might not be able to eliminate lies, but I do not have to believe them. And...whenever I lie to myself I try to laugh a little and move on. How about you? -- doug smith

There Is More To The Truth

Who knows everything? I don't know everything, do you? No one knows everything. Now, before we break out into song, maybe the best thing I can offer on this incomplete version of the truth is this: No one can tell you your truth, AND your truth alone is incomplete. It's true for me, it's true for you.  Or, is it? If you allow your truth to grow, to change, to evolve, it will stop getting in your way and instead will open up more possibilities. And possibilities are the super fuel of success. -- doug smith

Tell The Truth

Start by Telling Yourself the Truth

I often ask the question "who do we lie to the most?" and the answer is nearly universal: ourselves. We lie the most to ourselves. What a disservice. What an encumbrance. What a waste. Tell the truth, and start with yourself, Once we can tell the truth to ourselves it's easier to tell it to others. I'm going to work on that. How about you? -- doug smith

Tell Yourself the Truth

Do you ever lie to yourself? Most of us do. Of all the lies we tell, we lie to ourselves the most. And for what? Toward what aim? Lying to ourselves is fruitless. Lying to ourselves is damaging. Lying to ourselves is no way to achieve our goals or to communicate effectively. Your truth will matter more to others when it matters more to yourself. Tell yourself the truth. -- doug smith

Truth or Lies?

When was the last time that you were lied to? Maybe you know, and maybe you don't. It could depend on the lie. The person who lied to you could be so good at lying that you still don't know. Or, maybe they didn't even consider it to be a lie -- but it is. Lies cause hardship and heartbreak. Lies damage relationships and distort results. And yet, we all lie. Maybe because we don't realize the extent of the harm that lies cause. Destroyed trust, broken promises, unfair distribution of limited resources, lost opportunities... If we knew -- really knew -- how harmful lies really are we might stop telling them. You could stop today. I could stop today. Let's stop. -- doug smith Be Impeccable With Your Word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.  -- Don Miguel Ruiz "Lying to ourselves is more dee

You Can Handle The Truth

Who tells lies? That's not a trick question. We all lie.  There may even be some circumstances when lying seems appropriate. The trouble is when we lie we convince ourselves that the circumstances warrant lying, even when they don't. It makes it hard to know when anyone's telling the truth. It makes it hard to make and keep agreements. It doesn't have to be that way. We could simply tell the truth. Always. Some conversations would take longer. Some conversations might contain more conflict than we'd like. But, imagine what a boost your level of trust gets when people realize that you can be relied on to always tell the truth. Not just when it's easy. Not just when it's convenient. Always. Wouldn't you rather live with no more lies? Tell the truth. You can handle it. -- doug smith

Insist On The Truth

Why do we lie? That's a compelling question worth exploring. I once read that on average we tell about 26 lies a day. That's a lot of lying. But as leaders, don't we rely on our people to tell the truth? Aren't they (and our customers, and our families!) relying on US to tell the truth? What if it's not exactly our fault? What if we can dramatically reverse the amount of lies we tell by adding a bit of mindfulness? I like this video. It involves behavioral science and while it would be nice to have even more research on this, I do find the evidence compelling that very often we lie unconsciously. Watch the video and see what you think. Interesting experiment? What opportunities can you think of where you work to wake-up the moral foundation in yourself and in the people in your life? How can you remind people that you are counting on the truth? We all must communicate effectively to achieve the results that we want. That means finding, and delivering,

Find the Truth

How do you feel when someone hides the truth? I've worked in organizations that had upper management who, well, kept secrets. They knew about major moves. They planned major changes. But, they didn't tell us what was going on. The truth can rattle your feelings, but how can you deal with it if you don't know it. Successful supervisors know that their team members need to know the truth. What to expect. Hiding the truth is temporary at best, because the truth will always bubble to the top. It will always emerge. Why not bring it out sooner, with integrity, honesty, and grace? A hidden truth is not very helpful. Real truth sees the light of day in time to shine value on the people involved. Go for the value. Shine your light of truth. -- Doug Smith