Blame Is Not Your Problem

image: https://pixabay.com/photos/maine-coon-cat-domestic-cat-deep-cat-5943666/

'It's irksome to get blamed for a problem. That can raise emotions that make solving the problem even more difficult. If we can center ourselves first, breathe, and release the blame, maybe we can see what path to take.

We can solve the problem.

Getting blamed for a problem we didn't create doesn't prevent us from solving it.

Let go of the blame, wherever it came from.

-- doug smith

Action Step:

The next time you catch yourself blaming anyone for anything, just let go of the blame.

Comments

Give Your Gift

What is your most powerful gift? What is that thing that you rely on the most, that people find most compelling about you, that sets you apart from others? Everyone is a customer for your most important gift. Are you giving it freely? -- doug smith

Keep Digging

The first cause you find to a problem is probably not the last cause or even the main cause. Keep digging. -- doug smith

Be Careful About Punishment

It's tempting. It's right in front of you as a leader. Someone violates your trust, or misses a goal, or fails to respond to the promise of a reward, and the logical action seems to be to punish them in some way. Take away a perk. Deny a personal day off. Refuse a good assignment. Be careful. Every punishment brings about unexpected payback. Maybe it's immediate or maybe it comes months (even years!) down the road -- but payback is coming. It could be assertive, even aggressive -- or it could be so passive aggressive that you fail to see it coming. Oh, but it's coming. You may not like that payback. You may want to consider another path. What do you think? -- doug smith

Seriously

Did your most recent rude customer ruin your day? It doesn't have to be that way. Customers these days ARE tougher than ever. Their highly emotional outbursts can impact any attempts to provide good service. As a result, poorly behaved customers often get WORSE service than they would have otherwise. When I managed a customer service shop I often told my team members, "you may have to tolerate occasional rudeness sparked by emotions, but you NEVER have to tolerate abuse." End the conversation, politely, and decisively. Suggest a better time to talk, when things have calmed down. Service does not require surrender. We're people, too. -- doug smith

Keep Your "Yes" Ready

When we are frustrated it is tempting to say "no." When customers are unreasonable it is oh so easy to say "no." As a high performance leader and as someone who learns to balance clarity, courage, creativity, and compassion, you'll hold off on that "no" long enough to consider a useful "yes." A yes that will please your customer and you as well. A yes that builds a relationship bridge instead of constructing a negative wall of "no". Sometimes, instead of saying "no" we need to say what it would take for us to say "yes". You can always say "no" later if you need to. Keep that "yes" ready, though, and it will likely work out for the best. -- doug smith

Service Secret

How do get your staff to provide the best possible service? It is complicated and yet also simple. Here's a good place to start. Hire people who like people and you won't need to beg them to serve. It's already what they do. -- doug smith

Integrity and Belief

Does it ever feel like bad behavior is constantly rewarded? Maybe that's because in the short term, people can get away with behaving poorly and even seem to prosper. Justice is sometimes slow to react. Bold aggression bowls over good taste time and time again. It's not permanent. It won't last forever. Whether or not you believe in or call it some kind of karma, justice will find a way to even out aggression and malice. I choose to believe that integrity is not only important -- to do the right thing -- it is also inevitable. If you act with integrity, you will eventually enjoy the equity it brings. If you don't believe in integrity, that doesn't mean that it doesn't exist, but it does mean that you may take longer to experience it. Unless you believe that integrity wins, it's hard to have any integrity. But all that means is that lacking integrity will mean lacking justice, too. Let's do the right thing. Let's treat people fairly. Let's enjoy t

Here You Are

Leaders do need a vision, a focus on where to go next, and they also need the pragmatic determination to get the work done now. Look ahead, but live right here. Your goal may loom ahead, while the work is right in front of you. -- doug smith

Avoid Manipulation

Doesn't manipulation feel icky? If your inner radar works at all it goes all tingling in full tilt alarm when someone tries to force you into doing something, or tries to trick you into an action you don't want. Walk away from those who seek to win over you, and walk toward those who seek to win you over. -- doug smith

Free to Negotiate

Is everything a negotiation? Can you make an offer without holding it so close that it locks you in? If everything is a negotiation, then nothing should offend. Make a better offer. -- doug smith

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