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Dealing with Lies

What do you do when someone lies to you? It's probably happened to you several times today. People lie for so many reasons -- to spare your feelings, to fool you, to avoid work, to navigate blame, to gain an advantage...even out of laziness. The trouble with lies is that they are always inevitably discovered. What has become a disturbing trend is that even when someone is caught in a lie, they often simply just lie again. They lie about the lie. They lie about the truth. They lie about whether you should even care if the tell the truth. Geez. We've all told lies, but there comes a time to stop. There comes a time when the lies pile up so high that we can't even try to see our way to the truth. There comes a time when the lies cut relationships to shreds and turn communication into dread. There comes a time when no matter how dramatic or risky it may seem we should tell the truth. Exclusively. No lies at all. That time is now. Now is the best time to deal with lies. First (a


Stay relentlessly positive today -- and then again tomorrow.     -- doug smith  

Step by Step

  Sometimes I get ahead of myself. Sometimes I fall behind. How about you? Taking one step at a time helps you survive every fall. There will be plenty of falls. No need to fall so far you can't get up. Step by step. Let's try it that way. -- doug smith

Mind Your Mind

What do you think about you? Are you fabulous, fantastic, fun? Do you like who you see in the mirror?  Are you serving people in ways that enrich yourself as well? It's easy to harbor negative thoughts. It's tempting to judge ourselves harshly. The key is to always do our best, even when (especially when) that is hard. Push and drive and learn and build and go to bed tired.; Whatever you think of, it's yours to keep, so why not manage what you think of? It's not that positive thoughts will do everything for you, but they'll do far more for you than negative ones about yourself. You rock. You roll. You get stuff done. Do you mind what your mind says about you? Do you mind what your mind says about you that isn't true? You know how to fix that, don't you? -- doug smith

Every Day

Long range goals should get closer everyday. Design your plan and then work on it relentlessly. -- doug smith  

Set a Reward for Yourself

Proposition: Goals are rewarding enough that we shouldn't need rewards for achieving them. Rebuttal: you'll feel better after the reward AND it will often spur you on when the going is rough. (PS: the going is usually rough.) How will you reward yourself when you achieve your biggest goal? Figure that out, and the goal gets easier. You deserve it. -- doug smith


  Are you easily distracted? I've noticed that some of my more persistent distractions stop feeling like distractions when I do them too much. What becomes a habit is all too easily accepted.  And not all distractions are bad. Some powerfully creative ideas came from unexpected distractions -- drifts of thinking leading to novel approaches that worked. But living in distraction is dangerous.  Every distraction pulls us away from a noble goal.  When I feel that pull, I try to re-center myself and get back to the goal (or at least a goal.) The goal is where the gold is. -- doug smith

Get Started

  Those things that bother you the most? Process problems. Those things that are most fixable? Process problems. Every single process can be improved. What are you waiting for? Get started. -- doug smith

The Quality of Your Goals

  What if your goals are only as good as your character? When you set positive goals with the intention of doing good, with no harm to anyone, that's a reflection of your character. If you set goals with no thought of how they might affect other people, that is also a reflection of your character. Working on your goals starts with determining your character. When your values matter, so do you. -- doug smith

The Significance of a Choice

  When you have a choice, how do you decide? Do you consider the long-term impact? Do you think about the affect on other people?  Sometimes the significance of a choice emerges long after the choice is available. We learn later how important the choice was. What if we could figure that out before it was too late? -- doug smith