What do you do when someone lies to you? It's probably happened to you several times today. People lie for so many reasons -- to spare your feelings, to fool you, to avoid work, to navigate blame, to gain an advantage...even out of laziness. The trouble with lies is that they are always inevitably discovered. What has become a disturbing trend is that even when someone is caught in a lie, they often simply just lie again. They lie about the lie. They lie about the truth. They lie about whether you should even care if the tell the truth. Geez. We've all told lies, but there comes a time to stop. There comes a time when the lies pile up so high that we can't even try to see our way to the truth. There comes a time when the lies cut relationships to shreds and turn communication into dread. There comes a time when no matter how dramatic or risky it may seem we should tell the truth. Exclusively. No lies at all. That time is now. Now is the best time to deal with lies. First (a
When you have a choice, how do you decide? Do you consider the long-term impact? Do you think about the affect on other people? Sometimes the significance of a choice emerges long after the choice is available. We learn later how important the choice was. What if we could figure that out before it was too late? -- doug smith
Do you like to argue? Whether or not YOU do, you probably can think of someone who seams to enjoy disagreeing. Arguments are contagious. I've gotten pulled into many arguments that eventually went nowhere and didn't contribute any progress to anything at all. So why argue? We argue to prove a point. We argue to convince. We argue to change behavior. But, how effective is that? Not very. Whenever I catch myself arguing now, I pause long enough to breathe deeply and think of a question. And then another question. And then another question. It's harder to argue with a question. And with a question, we both might learn something. -- doug smith What have you learned today?
From Dr. Marshall Goldsmith, Executive Coach, comes this is a great way to share fast, low risk coaching with a number of people. The three steps are simple and easy: Write down an area you'd like to improve that would have a big impact for you Ask for 2 positive suggestions for the future that would help with that area Repeat getting positive suggestions from others in the group There are two simple roles for the process: No talking about the past No judging or critiquing ideas Here's Dr. Goldsmith describing the process in one of his highly useful videos: I found this article and video from one of my favorite sources of leadership advice, GetLighthouse.com, here .
What do you think about you? Are you fabulous, fantastic, fun? Do you like who you see in the mirror? Are you serving people in ways that enrich yourself as well? It's easy to harbor negative thoughts. It's tempting to judge ourselves harshly. The key is to always do our best, even when (especially when) that is hard. Push and drive and learn and build and go to bed tired.; Whatever you think of, it's yours to keep, so why not manage what you think of? It's not that positive thoughts will do everything for you, but they'll do far more for you than negative ones about yourself. You rock. You roll. You get stuff done. Do you mind what your mind says about you? Do you mind what your mind says about you that isn't true? You know how to fix that, don't you? -- doug smith
What if your goals are only as good as your character? When you set positive goals with the intention of doing good, with no harm to anyone, that's a reflection of your character. If you set goals with no thought of how they might affect other people, that is also a reflection of your character. Working on your goals starts with determining your character. When your values matter, so do you. -- doug smith