Relaxing My Temptation to Judge

How often do you judge people?

In my most judgmental of times I can judge everything about a person and find them constantly wanting. But what good does that do? How do I feel about being judged myself? Where does it all lead?

We are all deeply flawed humans. We make bad choices. We break things. We hurt people's feelings. That's all true (and more) about me and yet what makes me feel entitled to judge others?

It's another mistake.

The right balance, the right combination, the right focus, the centered degree of compassion, courage, clarity, and creativity makes much less room for judging others and much more room for working to understand.

I need to better understand other people, especially when they aren't sure that they understand themselves. I need help in being understood especially when I'm not operating with the best of clarity myself. It's a dance, but a dance of cooperation, not comparison. It doesn't matter if someone achieves more, gains more, builds more, or seems better than me. Comparing myself to them only makes me feel bad and does nothing to build any relationships.

Judging people will not make them more effective or better people.

Judging people just makes us sour.

That's not what I want. That's not what I strive for. So for today, I'm going to judge a little less. And maybe tomorrow, I can judge a lot less.

How about you?

-- Doug Smith

What have you learned today?

Comments

Goals are for People Like You

It's hard work. Most people are not willing to put in that work. Waiting for miracles or hoping to luck into achieving your goals might sound great for a video spin as a win but usually does not pay off -- it doesn't work unless YOU do. Goals are not meant for lazy people. Goals are for people willing to work in order to get what they want. People like you, right? -- doug smith

Make It Happen

When you decide you'd like to have something, or achieve something, how do you begin? It's easier to get what you want when you first set a goal. Make it clear, make it appealing, make it possible...and then, make it happen. -- doug smith

Move Past Doubt

So many times I have allowed doubt to get in my way. While it's wise to pay attention to risks and to create plans for overcoming obstacles, doubt is often an unnecessary encumbrance. It holds back without giving. It hinders without helping. When we develop the skills we need to achieve our goals, doubt is just annoying. Doubt doesn't diminish your ability unless you let it. Hear the doubt, then do what is necessary. Figure it out, then move past the doubt. -- doug smith

Accept and Level Up

It's a challenge to constantly strive for improvement. With an ever-raising bar there's no sense of accomplishment because we're waiting for the next improvement. Push, push, push! It may not be a science, but it sure is an art to be able to balance yourself and accept what is while working to level up more. Of course it can improve. Nothing is perfect. We are as leaders all about continuous improvement. Let's just remember to appreciate what we have already earned, what our teams have already accomplished. Imagine better, but appreciate what is. Your happy place is dynamic. -- doug smith

Change and Understanding

Do we have enough time to completely understand everything that we need to change? Of course not. We should understand with clarity what it is that is changing, and especially those things that we cause to change. But some change is completely new. Some change is game-changing. It's a dance on a wet floor. It's a jam session in twelve-tone jazz. It's a dish off the menu. Exciting, breathless, thrilling, risky, and sometimes scary. Changing something you don't understand will produce results you don't expect. Are you ready for the unexpected? -- doug smith

Dancing Shoes

The problem with perfection is that it's not sustainable. As soon as you get there, the landscape shifts. Standards change. Details emerge that switch everything up. We can get upset about that, but it won't change the inevitable. It's better to flex, to move, to dance with the waves Are your dancing shoes ready?

This Time Is Yours

If it feels like other people are deciding things for you, take comfort in the fact that it has always been the case -- always -- that some people will do their best to decide everything for you. Whether you allow that or not is up to you. Whether you lead ahead or follow (and fall) behind is also up to you. This time is your time -- embrace it completely. -- doug smith "The present time has one advantage over every other -- it is our own" -- Charles Caleb Colton Source

Is That Wise?

I love famous quotations, but sometimes they are just wrong. They might be out of context. They might be out-dated. What once rang truth now sours with disharmony. What might seem wise could be disguised. I've learned to think it thru. What's really being said? What's really being advised? Does that make sense? Is that wise? Wisdom misinterpreted isn't helpful. What do you think? -- doug smith

Are You Eager?

Maybe that road is speckled with potholes. Maybe that highway is heavy with tolls. How much do you want to go where you need to go? You can handle any rough road if you're eager enough to reach your destination. -- doug smith

Create a Better Future

Who is the future up to? Someone else? All of us? Today, this moment, I want to think about some problem that I can help solve. Some person that I can comfort. Something outside of myself that will make a difference. How do you feel about that? Solving problems is about creating a better future. That's something each of us can do, and needs to do, to see that better future come. What do you think? -- Doug Smith

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