Relaxing My Temptation to Judge

How often do you judge people?

In my most judgmental of times I can judge everything about a person and find them constantly wanting. But what good does that do? How do I feel about being judged myself? Where does it all lead?

We are all deeply flawed humans. We make bad choices. We break things. We hurt people's feelings. That's all true (and more) about me and yet what makes me feel entitled to judge others?

It's another mistake.

The right balance, the right combination, the right focus, the centered degree of compassion, courage, clarity, and creativity makes much less room for judging others and much more room for working to understand.

I need to better understand other people, especially when they aren't sure that they understand themselves. I need help in being understood especially when I'm not operating with the best of clarity myself. It's a dance, but a dance of cooperation, not comparison. It doesn't matter if someone achieves more, gains more, builds more, or seems better than me. Comparing myself to them only makes me feel bad and does nothing to build any relationships.

Judging people will not make them more effective or better people.

Judging people just makes us sour.

That's not what I want. That's not what I strive for. So for today, I'm going to judge a little less. And maybe tomorrow, I can judge a lot less.

How about you?

-- Doug Smith

What have you learned today?

Comments

Build and Connect

The world is full of "buts" in search of more "ands." In improv. In leadership. In life. Let go of the fear and build on what's here. -- doug smith

Better Traditions

It's easy to tear down the past and wreck the present. It does not take much thought to condemn what seems to be ill-suited for our present needs. We might even take glee in crushing part of our past. But before we do, we should ask a question or two. What if we improved our traditions instead of destroying them? What if that's a better solution? -- doug smith

Pause First

Falling behind might not mean catching up. It could also reveal change and opportunity. Would you rather chase, or lead? Has one moment or movement gone leaving room for something new? Don't let a treadmill turn into a dread mill. Haul that rock up the hill if it is part of your future, not just because it was part of your past. -- doug smith

In Search of the right steps...

Three step processes. Four step processes. Seven step processes. Even more. A problem is a dynamic in search of a dance. Follow the science, of course, but also find the dance. -- doug smith

Practice

If practice was easy we wouldn't need it. -- doug smith

Wrong Is Wrong

There may be more than one right way to do something but that does not make the wrong way right. -- doug smith

Speedy, Pause

Speed is great. It overcomes indifference, it outruns hesitation, it gets things started. It can also lead to mistakes. Sometimes a mistake comes from moving too fast. Pause. Practice patiently to filter out the flaws. -- doug smith

Found

Everyone wants to do meaningful work. Work of value. Work that matters. Work that uses your skills, your gifts, your best intentions. Is that hard to find? Does it require a massive search? Embrace the search for meaningful work but remember that it is right in front of you. -- doug smith

Be Careful of Your Measures

Peter Drucker once said "what gets measured gets done" and there is much truth to that. Point people in the direction you want and they will do their best to get there. Just make sure, very sure, that you are measure what you really want and doing it without creating paths to cheating your way there. Given an incentive, people will find a way to achieve it. Most will work fairly but some will be tempted to game the. system, to stack the deck, to churn the number on their own behalf. That's not what you want. Ask yourself this question: how can we measure quantity and quality without gaming the system? Until you've answered that question, you'll never know how accurate, or useful, the measure is. -- doug smith

Five Whys vs. Fishbone

Every once in a while a great article that explains an idea well appears that is worth sharing. This is one example, from HRDQ: Five Whys vs. Fishbone Diagrams for Root Cause Analysis . The article is worth reading but in brief, it describes two powerful and commonly used root cause analysis tools and how to use them. It makes a convincing case that it is not exactly one vs. the other -- start with the classic Fishbone diagram. If you uncover what appears to be one dominant cause path, drill down on that path using the 5 Whys. That's the order: 1. Fishbone 2. Five Whys I use variations of each of these tools in our workshops on Creative Problem Solving. The common versions are still effective and will save you time in problem solving. The root cause analysis is essential. Done properly and thoroughly it will prevent you from chasing solutions that do not actually solve the problem. What problem are you working on today? Have you identified the root cause? -- doug smith

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