Relaxing My Temptation to Judge

How often do you judge people?

In my most judgmental of times I can judge everything about a person and find them constantly wanting. But what good does that do? How do I feel about being judged myself? Where does it all lead?

We are all deeply flawed humans. We make bad choices. We break things. We hurt people's feelings. That's all true (and more) about me and yet what makes me feel entitled to judge others?

It's another mistake.

The right balance, the right combination, the right focus, the centered degree of compassion, courage, clarity, and creativity makes much less room for judging others and much more room for working to understand.

I need to better understand other people, especially when they aren't sure that they understand themselves. I need help in being understood especially when I'm not operating with the best of clarity myself. It's a dance, but a dance of cooperation, not comparison. It doesn't matter if someone achieves more, gains more, builds more, or seems better than me. Comparing myself to them only makes me feel bad and does nothing to build any relationships.

Judging people will not make them more effective or better people.

Judging people just makes us sour.

That's not what I want. That's not what I strive for. So for today, I'm going to judge a little less. And maybe tomorrow, I can judge a lot less.

How about you?

-- Doug Smith

What have you learned today?

Comments

Trust Requires Truth

When you catch someone in a lie, how quickly do you trust them again? What if they'd lied to you before, maybe even many times? How much would you trust them then? Trust requires truth. To be trusted you must tell the truth. Not everyone will comply, but if you do -- if you always tell the truth -- you will be greatly trusted. -- doug smith

The Best Goals

Goals are not created equally. Some we plow thru because they are necessary or even assigned. But some that we choose challenge us so strongly that we grow no matter what the outcome turns out to be. Some build new skills that we will use forever after. The best goals bring you growth and joy even when you don't achieve them. Select your goals carefully. Feel the joy. -- doug smith

Upcoming Public Virtual Training

Each session is 3 hours long. Morning sessions begin at 10:00 am ET Afternoon sessions begin at 2:00 pm ET Excelling as a Manager or Supervisor December 11 Register here: https://skillpath.com/virtual To save money, attend multiple programs, and enjoy many other great learning resources, register for SkillPath Unlimited here .

Done

Trying to fix a problem from the past could cause a problem right now. When it's done, let it stay done. -- doug smith

The Real Secret

A few years ago there was a lot of attention on a personal development technique known as "the secret." I'm not here to debunk the secret or throw shade in its direction, because if you've heard about it you've probably already made up your mind. Like many of other methods, if it works for you, enjoy -- and if it doesn't, choose. This is not nearly so lofty a concept I'm about to share, and it's nothing that I've made up. It's been known forever. But just because it's known doesn't mean that it's easy. Just because it's simple doesn't guarantee success. Like anything worth working for, we've got to work for it. The magic ingredient to achieving your goals is discipline. That's it. Whatever your course of action, you've got to put in the work. Whatever great habits will propel you forward, you've got to sustain the discipline to keep doing them. Is that the real secret? You decide. -- doug smith

Seriously

Have you ever worked so hard on something that it made you miserable? Major goals do take hard work. When we set a goal if we're serious about it we must be ready to work hard to achieve it. But only if it matters. Only if we know that achieving that goal will make us better and happier or perhaps perform a noble good in the world. If a goal doesn't do that -- if a goal doesn't make you happy -- let it go. -- doug smith

No Place for Laziness

It's one thing if a team member is unable to do something due to lack of knowledge or skill or resources. It's completely different when they ARE able but are unwilling. Especially if the only thing standing in someone's way is their laziness. It's too much work for them. They don't see the payoff. But, for the rest of the team the payoff is both obvious and necessary. It may take a little work on the part of leadership to move that laziness aside. It could take patience. Persistence. Pressing on. Why not press on by showing that you are NOT too lazy to encourage effort? Why not demonstrate the value -- and the joy -- in the work? Overcoming laziness is work well worth the effort. -- doug smith

With Love

Emotions can get in the way of solving problems. Stirring up anger, or fear is hardly ever helpful. But what if even in the toughest of situations we solved problems with love. There can't be too much love, can there? And the supply is always renewable and inexhaustible if we stay with it. Problems solved with love stay solved longer. We also feel much better about the whole thing. What do you think? -- doug smth

Procrastination

Procrastination increases stress. Do the thing and be done with it. -- doug smith

Catch the Learning

Goals are important. We should always be working toward meaningful goals. While we're doing that, we sometimes stumble. We even miss or must delay great goals. When we pay attention, we learn valuable lessons from working on our goals, even when we miss. Sometimes the learning is worth more than the goal. Go for the goal, and be sure to catch the learning. -- doug smith

doug smith training

Search This Blog