Is Stress A Choice?

How big of a deal is stress in your life?

We all endure a certain amount of stress. Depending on what's going on in your work and in your life, you may be going thru more stress than you want. Not all stress is bad (setting an ambitious goal, for example, adds a kind of good stress) but too much stress can slow you down.

How much of your stress are you choosing? Certainly, not all of your stress, but could you admit that some of it is the result of you doing too much worrying, or waiting too long to work on that big goal, or taking what the boss said too personally, or procrastinating when you knew the deadline was going to be tough?

You know as well as anyone else the answer to what to do about the stress you cause yourself: let it go. Stop it. Relax, breathe, focus, and then get to work.

When we do that, when we control the stress that we can control, when we choose "no" to a piece of self-selected stress, it makes handling the tough unchosen stress much, much easier.

Refusing to believe that stress is a choice won't get rid of your stress. Face it, deal with it, and when you can -- let it go.

-- Doug Smith

Comments

Influence, Not Manipulation

This could be a whole book, but I'll keep it short. Every day is a struggle to influence and to avoid being manipulated. Both struggles impact each other. We need to be open to being influenced. Sometimes we're wrong. Sometimes our perspective shifts, our approach changes, our actions respond. But, manipulation is inconsiderate. Manipulation is disrespectful. Manipulation says "we don't trust you so we're going to make it hard for you to do what we don't want you to do..." Influence all day long. Involve people in that influence. Make your circle larger and watch your potential grow. But as soon as you try to manipulate someone, you've crossed a dangerous line. What do you think? -- doug smith

Get Help Solving That Problem

Do you try to do everything on your own? If you're part of a team, and especially if you are leading a team, it goes better by collaborating. Working together. Helping each other. People like to be connected. What better time to strengthen your connections than when you have a problem? You don't need everyone in the world to help you solve a problem but you probably do need someone. Find out who that is, and get them involved. Besides, it is way more fun that way, too. -- doug smith

Love That Job

Do your team members love their jobs? Do you? There is nothing quite like loving a job you're doing. Focused, alive, attentive, building something important, serving people gladly...what could be better? We all need to work, why not love the work we do? As a leader, you are the main reason (yes I said the MAIN reason) your team members either love their jobs or they don't. It's all in the climate you create, the environment of both support and challenge balanced with precision and love. A leader who helps someone love their job is giving the world a wonderful treasure. What can you do today to show your team members the potential to make this the best team ever, with the best jobs ever? Here's one idea: appreciate. Thank someone, recognize some, share with someone how you value what they do and who they are. They'll like that, you'll like that...everybody wins. -- doug smith

Motivation Is Contagious

Like most team behaviors, motivation is contagious. When people look around and see team members energized, charged up, focused, and engaged, it tends to spread. That's not a shortcut, though. Leaders still need to do the work by creating an environment that supports and challenges the team members. Leaders also need to develop relationships with individual team members and help those team members develop cooperative, cohesive relationships with each other. There's no quick fix, but it helps to start doing something that does work. One thing is talking with your people. Lead with questions long before you offer any answers. What motivates your people? Ask them. -- doug smith

More On Now

Now is one of those words that means different things to different people. It implies a sense of urgency. Immediacy. And, it can mean so much more. When I say "now!" I mean it will not be perfect but it will be DONE. When I say "now!" I mean seriously, attentively, and instantly. When I say "now!" I mean "now for me" without expecting anyone else to follow automatically. If it's not urgent for you, even if it is for me, just let me know. What do you mean when you say now? -- doug smith

Work With The Team You've Got

Maybe you inherited your team. Maybe your team just lost a key player. The game goes on. You've got to keep playing, keep producing, and keep developing your team. Work with the team you've got. When you do, they will astound you. -- doug smith

Now Means Now

How do you feel when someone says that they will do something right away, and then they don't? When I say "now!" I mean immediately, and without over-thinking. never under estimate the temptation to overthink (I think I just did!) When is now? How about now? -- doug smith

Compassionate Patience

It's easy to forget how much work it took to get where you are. Skills that we can take for granted are still absent or being developed in other people, including our team members. Compassionate leaders remember what they were like before they acquired the skills they now wish their team members had. The challenge: staying patient. The good news: as a leader you can help those team members grow. -- doug smith

Subtle Motivation

People are motivated by their own individual needs, but also powerfully by what motivate those people nearby. Behavior, and motivation, is contagious. Winning leaders create environments where motivation is widely shared. It's not a contest, it's a team. -- doug smith

The Pursuit of Tough Goals

Great goals are tough. We don't remember the easy goals, but the tough goals change us. Set a tough goal and then run with it hard. The pursuit of a tough goal requires relentless dedication. Isn't that what you've been preparing for? -- doug smith

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