Unconditional Positive Regard

Something someone said in one of my workshops keeps popping back and I'm glad that it does. We were talking about dealing with difficult people, with difficult situations, with difficult times, and he said he approaches everyone from the same hopeful stance of "unconditional positive regard."

It's not something anyone has to earn. It's not something anyone can push away. It's a calm, focused, giving, loving way to look at those around us. Who around us? Everyone.

I have failed at this many times, even since hearing the words of "unconditional positive regard" and yet I do not surrender to the negative that creeps in when I'm off my game. Like a gentle redirection, like a soft return to the breath, I can think "unconditional positive regard."

Today is a great day to create a great day!

-- doug smith

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Human Problems

Any problem created by a human can be solved by a human. I wrote that long before AI started solving problems for us. Many days it feels like we will soon not even need to solve our own problems at all because AI will do it for us. Honestly, we know better than that, right? For as long as it's still true, humans can still solve human problems. Let's do that. -- doug smith

Clear Improvement

The best we can do is not yet the best we can do. Improvement is part of everyone's job and leaders must make that abundantly clear. -- doug smith

How's Your Reputation

How important do you think it is to sustain a positive leadership reputation? It matters to your team. It matters to any future team that you might be leading. Your reputation tells a story about how you operate, how you facilitate and how you achieve your results. Leading positive change builds credibility. Making a difference right now builds credibility. Keeping your promises and showing care for others establishes the kind of character that people want to work with and maybe even follow. What positive change are you currently working on? -- doug smith

Creatively Human

In a world where anything can be duplicated, create what cannot be duplicated. -- doug smith

Extremes

Do you know what it is like to work for an unreasonable boss? When no matter what you do is ever good enough it can become demotivating, even crippling. We do need to challenge our teams, but not to esteem crushing extremes. Unreasonable expectations cause disappointment. High performance? Yes. Perfect performance? Not attainable. -- doug smith

Where to Start?

It's harder to solve a problem alone when you are at the center of the problem. Get another perspective. Stay open to your own part of the problem. Sometimes, deep into the search, we discover that we could be the cause. Start with reflection. It could provide direction. -- doug smith

Strategic Secrets?

If you have to keep it a secret it's not as much in your control as you think it is. Every secret eventually becomes revealed. -- doug smith

Positive Value

If it does not support you, allow it to strengthen you. -- doug smith

No Victims

There will be offers, heading your way in obvious as well as subtle channels. Strong looking barriers. Refusals to see you. Efforts to take advantage of you. That's not meant for you, no matter how strong someone else's intentions imply that it is. Decline any opportunity to be a victim. It does not suit you. -- doug smith

Problem Players

Every problem has at least two players and both must embrace change. If you want to fix a problem, something must change. If you want to achieve a goal, something must change. Every player in every situation must deal with that, whether or not they know it. -- doug smith

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