Communication Flexibility

Have you considered flexibility in communication?

I thought about this yesterday when my first impulse as a response to something that someone said to me was to share my own experience, my own advice, my own perspective. But I didn't do that. It would have been easy, but it would have been wrong from an emotional standpoint. The other person hadn't asked for my advice.

If she did, I was ready. The advice, the point of view, was all ready to go. But she didn't so I simply listened. Quiet can communicate so much. Staying flexible in the moment, knowing the options and then selecting the most compassionate, caring, useful response greatly improves communication. Conversations can be dances where we don't step on each other's feet. Conversations can be fluid, flexible, light, and still substantive.

Flexible.

Even when I am absolutely sure that I know the answer...

There is always more than one answer.

-- doug smith

Comments

Go Get It

It might seem that all you need to achieve that goal is a little help. A bit of a boost. Someone to provide feedback and encouragement. You're right. If all you need is a little help to achieve your goal, then definitely go get that help. The person who could help you really does want to help you. -- doug smith

Strong

It''s a challenge to your composure, to your centeredness. It's an attack on your boundaries. How do you react? Nothing gives anyone the right to impose their problem on your property. While it's not cause for aggression, it's also not cause for surrender. Stand strong. Remain resilient. Be bold yet kind. A smile works as well during a refusal as it does during a deal. Smile, stand strong, or move along. When the need for creativity arises, creative problem solving is on your side. Bring your adversary into the picture. Ask, instead of demand. Then collaborate on a creative mix of solutions with at least one too good to refuse. -- doug smith

Details

"It's all in the details." "Measure twice, cut once." "If you fail to plan, you plan to fail." "Get it right, get it right, get it right..." Details. As a front line leader it is ever so tempting to pour on the details until they completely cover every possible contingency. As a highly analytical person, I've given into that temptation many times. The risk to making instructions too detailed is that they will not be followed. That doesn't imply malice, it simple acknowledges that: our attention spans are short no process is perfect anyway action creates momentum That third one is key. Action creates momentum, so get moving. Correct as we proceed, but for heaven's sake, get moving. -- doug smith

Time and Feelings

Using time productively is of course important. Managing work and activities, reducing wasted time, optimizing performance, these all matter. And you know what else matters? How you feel about it. The time is yours. Even when other people make decisions about your time, your approach to what you do is always up to you. It's not just what you do with your time that matters, it's also how you feel about what you do with your time. What's your answer? -- doug smith

Time and Possibility

There was a time when time seemed to close in on me like a shrinking cell. I could hear the ticking like a serious soundtrack constantly reminding me that urgency had to rule or time would shrink away. But time doesn't shrink away. Time does not care what you do about it and if you hear ticking it's from a real clock, not your lost time. Time is not a ticking clock, it's a fluid sea of possibility. Find the wave and ride. Connect with your school of creatives and invent new boundaries. Swim and win. The possibilities are endless. And...so is time. -- doug smith

You've Got More

Do you know what is the best thing about potential? You've always got more. It's the same for capacity -- you can always dig deeper, extend farther, lift more. Think about some of the best things you've ever done. You're amazing, aren't you? There's more in the tank. There's great work ahead. The best you can do is better than you think it is. Won't it be fun when you discover that? -- doug smith

Not Perfect?

Have you ever held onto a problem just because you couldn't find the perfect solution, an elegant, efficient, bruise-free choice? That effort -- for perfection -- has slowed me down a number of times. Perfection can be such a bother, because nothing is perfect in this life and never will be. There's no perfect way to solve a problem -- but you don't need perfection to solve it. If you can find the best way, that is certainly good enough. -- doug smith

Something Good

You don't always find what you're looking for but if you keep looking you'll find something good. -- doug smith

Good News, Bad News

The bad news is that you are the biggest thief of your time. The good news is that you can change that. We all waste time. We can all waste less. Productivity is a choice. -- doug smith

The Joy of Small Goals

No one needs to convince you that big goals are important to your success. One of my favorite bosses had an expression she used cheerfully and often: "Go big or go home." Small goals matter, too. They build practice. They build skills. They create great habits that lead to completing your much larger goals. Small goals, once achieved, are great sources of joy. What small goal are you working on today? -- doug smith

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