On Silence

image: https://pixabay.com/photos/flower-lonely-alone-moss-stone-1739892/

Sometimes I talk too much.

Have you ever said anything that you regret? If you're telling the truth, I'm going to guess "yes."

Leaders do that sometimes. And, while we owe it to our teams to speak up and express ourselves clearly, there are times when silence is better. Silence is better when the words you are about to speak are better spoken by someone else. Silence is better when the opportunity is for the team to learn from their own words and actions. Silence is better when the words we are about to say are in anger.

How can we know the difference? When do we need to speak up and when do we need to shut up?

Try this: pause for three seconds and at least one deep breath (more if you can.) Your answer may appear in that silence.

-- doug smith

Comments

Facts and Feelings

How do you feel about data? About half of us really don't feel anything about data, because it's the data that matters. Let's focus on the facts. The half of us really does care about how we feel about data -- or anything else. How cold it is to leave our feelings out of the equation! As winning leaders we need to focus both on facts and on feelings. We need the flexibility and the focus. We need to include anyone and everyone who will be impacted by the results of our decisions. What do you think about that? How do you feel about that? Ask both questions, and then...listen. -- doug smith

Serve With Love

Leaders must serve. We don't all like that. Sometimes, we'd prefer to be served. But, think about it. We serve our customers. We serve our boards. We serve (yes, we do) our team members. We even serve our peers and of course we serve our bosses. That gives us an important choice: we can serve gladly, or we can serve madly. The work is the same; the emotion is different. The difference between serving with resentment and serving with love is the difference between hardship and happiness. Doesn't happiness feel better? -- doug smith

With Love

Emotions can get in the way of solving problems. Stirring up anger, or fear is hardly ever helpful. But what if even in the toughest of situations we solved problems with love. There can't be too much love, can there? And the supply is always renewable and inexhaustible if we stay with it. Problems solved with love stay solved longer. We also feel much better about the whole thing. What do you think? -- doug smth

Procrastination

Procrastination increases stress. Do the thing and be done with it. -- doug smith

Reason to Talk

That misunderstanding, that festering conflict, that difficult behavior...what are we to do? Talk it over. Bring it up. Conflict is reason to talk. Conversations cost less than making assumptions. Talk about it.

Done

Trying to fix a problem from the past could cause a problem right now. When it's done, let it stay done. -- doug smith

Never mind the Distractions

I'll keep this short. Distractions are expensive. No need to list them here because you already know, don't you? Some things and some people will try to distract you from your goals but it's up to you if you let them. Design your plan. Act relentlessly on that plan. Keep going until you hit that beautiful four letter word: done. -- doug smith

What's Your Posture Check?

How often do you check-in on your development? How do you conduct that little audit? I remember regularly gaining adjustments from a wonderful chiropractor who had as part of their practice a regular posture check. We'd stand while the chiropractor carefully looked us over. It was amazing how much they could tell about our alignment, our health, our balance, our well-being. As treatments progressed, posture improved, and so did my health. When it comes to leadership development, what's your version of a posture check? Do you get feedback from your team? Do you talk with a mentor? Most leaders are held accountable on their metrics, but not everyone gets to check-in on their development. I'm curious, because if I could find a way to check-in on my leadership customers that helped them track their progress it would be a useful tool. We've all probably had enough surveys, so maybe something else. Something practical and easy. Maybe some way to check balance, feedback, team...

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