Help Before You Need Help

Why should anyone help you with your goals?

You can probably think of at least three people right now who are not yet helping you, but if they did, would make achieving your goal much easier. You might even be able to think of some people who seem to be standing in your way of achieving your goals. Why would they do that?

How do people decide whether or not to help?

People have their own sense of reason, but one thing that influences them is whether or not they have gotten help from you. When we build relationships of trust and serving it becomes much easier for someone to offer help. It even becomes easier for them to see the need to offer help without being asked.

But if there is no history of helping, if in fact there is a memory of an unpleasant lack of help, it's natural that they would resist offering help of their own. It's all in the history of the relationship.

People can help us achieve our goals or they can hinder us -- it could depend on how well we serve those people.

What kind of history are your building with your associates? What could you do today to create more memories of serving?

-- doug smith

Comments

Appreciation Builds Confidence

High performance leaders must do two things extremely skillfully: 1. Support your people 2. Challenge your people One great way to support your people is to appreciate them. Say thank you often and very specifically. Thank then for exactly what they did and why it's helpful. For example: "Thanks for getting your report in a day early! That gives me more time to digest the data and less time to worry about getting it on time!" "Thank you so much for listening respectfully even though I could tell you disagreed. When we're able to talk like this it's much more likely that we'll come up with great ideas and solutions to problems." "I appreciate the way you follow-up a good question with a clarifying response. That way we both understand what we're saying!" It takes practice. It might feel awkward at first. But here's something that I say every day because it's true: what gets appreciated gets repeated. If you like something, apprec

Focus Saves Time

A proper goal prevents wasted time. We don't have time to pursue meaningless goals. What matters most needs most of our time. Take a look at your list of goals. Prioritize the top three. The rest will matter most when the top three are done. -- doug smith

Gratitude

What we are grateful for stays, what we take for granted goes away. What are you grateful for today? If the list is long, there's something also to be grateful for. If the list is short, consider it more. Gratitude blesses our blessings and keeps them flowing. -- doug smith

Developing Leadership

We are constantly developing leadership -- the work is never done. New challenges, new people, new goals. That includes how we lead and who we develop as current and future leaders. Developing leadership is a constant. What's your plan? -- doug smith

Keep Solving

It's frustrating to solve a problem only to have it re-appear. And, even if it doesn't re-appear it seems like another problem quickly pops up. Problems don't stay solved so we must keep solving. And so...keep solving. -- doug smith

Who Follows The Rules?

If the rules are not fair for everyone, they will be broken. You shouldn't be surprised, though -- you should make the rules fair. -- doug smith

Practice!

How much do you practice the skill that is most important to your success? We do best what we do most. Practice. It's the best way (maybe the only way) to get better. You name the skill -- communication, leadership, problem solving, managing conflict, playing music, running, swimming, singing, dancing, acting...practice is the key. -- doug smith

Smile

It's easier to face the future if you embrace the present with a smile. "Is that your answer to everything? Smile?" "Nah -- but it serves me better than frowning." "What if you don't know whether to smile or cry?" "Even a curious smile is better than no smile at all...smile? Yes!" The more you make yourself smile, the more you will need to because there will be more to smile about -- smiles will start coming more often on their own. People will smile back. The smiles will multiply. It's harder to be mad at someone who likes you enough to smile for you, to smile toward you, to smile with you. Smile! -- doug smith

Adjustable Expectations

How important are your expectations to you? Have you adjusted them lately? Or, have they been adjusted FOR you? It's important to know what we expect and manage what we expect. Too much, and you'll disappoint yourself. Too little, and you could under-perform. We control our expectations. And, we also adjust those expectations. Problems have a way of recalibrating our expectations. it could take longer to reach our goal. It might be impossible to reach our goal. Until we solve the problem, our expectations could stall. Life, and work, is filled with unexpected adjustments. What did you expect? -- doug smith

Communicate Politely

Can you tell a hard truth and still be polite? Absolutely! We can disagree with respect. We can remain civil. We can demonstrate professionalism even under pressure. Nothing should ever prevent a true professional from being polite. -- doug smith

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