Too Much Drama?

Do you have too much drama at work?

Whenever I ask a class this during one of my Managing Conflict programs the answer is almost always "Yes!" (sometimes, it looks like this: YESSSS!!!!)

Drama. It's all around us. Conflicts that are hard to resolve. Personality differences. Political incongruities. Societal hypocrisies. Fractured relationships and sore self-esteem. Drama.

We like drama. It ignites us. It gets the heart beating faster. But do we really need it when our team just needs to finish a project? Do we really want it when what we should do instead is communicate more effectively, lead with influence instead of power, and reach mutually beneficial outcomes in change?

Of course.

Drama makes us feel so alive that even when it isn't necessary we tend to invent it.

Given a choice, why invent the unnecessary?

-- doug smith

Notes:

Here’s the process we cover in our program on Managing Conflict:

1. Uncover the causes.

2. Defuse the drama

3. Identify your choices

4. Find common ground.

It draws from the wisdom expressed in the Thomas-Kilmann model of conflict resolution and from the techniques taught in the book "Getting To Yes" by Ury and Fisher.

image: doug smith, from "Managing Conflict"

If you'd like to schedule a virtual Managing Conflict class for your team, please contact me.

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Human Problems

Any problem created by a human can be solved by a human. I wrote that long before AI started solving problems for us. Many days it feels like we will soon not even need to solve our own problems at all because AI will do it for us. Honestly, we know better than that, right? For as long as it's still true, humans can still solve human problems. Let's do that. -- doug smith

Clear Improvement

The best we can do is not yet the best we can do. Improvement is part of everyone's job and leaders must make that abundantly clear. -- doug smith

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Creatively Human

In a world where anything can be duplicated, create what cannot be duplicated. -- doug smith

Extremes

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Where to Start?

It's harder to solve a problem alone when you are at the center of the problem. Get another perspective. Stay open to your own part of the problem. Sometimes, deep into the search, we discover that we could be the cause. Start with reflection. It could provide direction. -- doug smith

Strategic Secrets?

If you have to keep it a secret it's not as much in your control as you think it is. Every secret eventually becomes revealed. -- doug smith

Problem Players

Every problem has at least two players and both must embrace change. If you want to fix a problem, something must change. If you want to achieve a goal, something must change. Every player in every situation must deal with that, whether or not they know it. -- doug smith

Positive Value

If it does not support you, allow it to strengthen you. -- doug smith

No Victims

There will be offers, heading your way in obvious as well as subtle channels. Strong looking barriers. Refusals to see you. Efforts to take advantage of you. That's not meant for you, no matter how strong someone else's intentions imply that it is. Decline any opportunity to be a victim. It does not suit you. -- doug smith

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