Too Much Drama?

Do you have too much drama at work?

Whenever I ask a class this during one of my Managing Conflict programs the answer is almost always "Yes!" (sometimes, it looks like this: YESSSS!!!!)

Drama. It's all around us. Conflicts that are hard to resolve. Personality differences. Political incongruities. Societal hypocrisies. Fractured relationships and sore self-esteem. Drama.

We like drama. It ignites us. It gets the heart beating faster. But do we really need it when our team just needs to finish a project? Do we really want it when what we should do instead is communicate more effectively, lead with influence instead of power, and reach mutually beneficial outcomes in change?

Of course.

Drama makes us feel so alive that even when it isn't necessary we tend to invent it.

Given a choice, why invent the unnecessary?

-- doug smith

Notes:

Here’s the process we cover in our program on Managing Conflict:

1. Uncover the causes.

2. Defuse the drama

3. Identify your choices

4. Find common ground.

It draws from the wisdom expressed in the Thomas-Kilmann model of conflict resolution and from the techniques taught in the book "Getting To Yes" by Ury and Fisher.

image: doug smith, from "Managing Conflict"

If you'd like to schedule a virtual Managing Conflict class for your team, please contact me.

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Something Else

We do it frequently -- blame people for what's wrong. And when we blame people for something they did not cause it often makes things worse because now they feel bad about it and maybe even defensive. Even though it feels like people get i the way of perfection, it's usually something else. Fix the process. Fix the rule. Fix the presentation. Fix the product. People are better than we realize, and seldom to blame for service breakdowns. -- doug smith Training Activity Make a list of the three most recent service breakdowns that you have experienced. For each breakdown, score on a scale of 1 - 10 how much of that breakdown was caused by: Process Rules Presentation Product People Now you know where to start fixing things.

Positive Choice

Yes or no? Certainly not maybe because that takes you nowhere. Yes or no? I don't always get the answer right, but I feel sure about this: yes is better than a guess. Yes gets us moving. Yes opens doors. Yes starts the experiment and learning begins. Yes is better than a guess. And, if you need to guess, guess yes! -- doug smith

A Frustrating Problem

As an old six sigma project manager I firmly believe that most problems are caused by broken processes, not broken people. But let's face it, some people not only don't realize that but they refuse to fix the process. If you know a process is broken, and do nothing to change that, the problem gets worse. If you can solve someone's problem but refuse to, you might be the problem. Don't be the problem. Fix the process, even if you need help. Because there are no perfect processes, but there are lots of people avoiding them. -- doug smith

Surprise!

What have been your major changes? What magnificent visions have you had that you eventually released? Sometimes, to make room for the next great thing, we need to let go of the less than great wish we're holding onto. What looks like success at one point in our lives because less convincing as it slips away, hides, or becomes impossible. Life goes on. New dreams form. Greatness always welcomes us to new opportunities. If your vision of success changes, that is also success. You are now free to be great (and happy) in another direction. Life goes on; the joy in it is up to you. -- doug smith

Improving

Expecting good people to be perfect is expecting too much but expecting them to constantly improve is reasonable. Expecting everyone to constantly is reasonable. How can you as a leader make that happen? 1. Tell your people that it (constant improvement) is your expectation. 2. Support your people in their development. Give them the training you know they need AND the training that they ask for. 3. Coach at every opportunity. Check in on their goals. Ask about their progress. Ask how you can help. The good news is the more that you do those three things the more you are also constantly improving. And, there's nothing like walking the talk to get more people improving. -- doug smith

It's Not About The Money

Of course we all need to make money. We earn our profits with honor when we provide goods, services, and care for our customers. It's possible to create a better world AND make money in the process. But, all too often, in that process we encounter problems. In the service of our people (customers, team members, vendors, regulators...) we should solve those problems. Sometimes, companies seek to monetize that process by creating problem situations that beg for solutions, which are then made available for an upgrade with an extra fee. Yuck. Short term that may seem smart but long term it's burning down the house you live in just to warm it up. The minute you monetize problem solving you create more problems. And those problems will be much harder to solve. -- doug smith

Follow The Script?

Have you ever had a conversation with a customer service representative and you could tell that they were simply following a script? How did you feel about that? Sometimes the script works, but usually it doesn't feel human to the customer. As we get more and more responses from actual robots, it's worth considering how much better we can give human responses as humans. Quick Service Do's and Don'ts: Don't just follow a script when you hear it's not working. Don't assume that the customer is wrong. Don't take it personally when the customer gets upset. Don't argue with the customer. Instead, do these: Do listen to understand the customer's needs. Do empathize with the customer. Do collaborate rather than dictate. Do think creatively, even if you need to pause, in order to find better answers. That's not the whole list, of course, but it's a useful place to start. No matter who we're talking to we should always be better than a robot...

Measures Matter

Some people measure quantify first and quality later. Some people measure money first and impact to the team later (not even second!). How you measure productivity might determine your character and your reputation. Put people first. -- doug smith

Growth

No one does everything. It's not about achieving everything. You don't need to achieve all of your goals everyday, but achieving any of your goals puts you ahead. What goal are you working on today? -- doug smith

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