Misunderstood

image: https://pixabay.com/photos/nature-water-lake-forest-silence-3474826/

It's frustrating to be misunderstood. It is well worth working on our communication skills in order to minimize misunderstandings because they lead to hardships and hard feelings.

But, do you know some one who just seems to always misunderstand your message, or your intention? It's almost as if they are missing the point on purpose. They probably are not -- there's just some filter in the way.

Some people will misunderstand you no matter how clearly you speak.

Reframe, rephrase, re-try...it's not worth letting the misunderstanding stand.

-- doug smith

Comments

Fix The Problem

Fighting a problem does not require us to fight other people. We don't need to agitate when we can collaborate. Fix the problem (which is likely caused by flaws in the process, design, or environment) and the people will be fine. -- doug smith

Gain That Personal Input

Do you like it when other people make decisions for you? Me, either -- and neither do the people on your team. That's all the more true about decisions that become, or feel like, rules. Our inner rebel will rise. A rule we didn't make seems much easier to break. If you want your team to keep certain rules, first find out how they feel about those rules. -- doug smith

Your Best

When are you at your best? It's probably not when things are the easiest. It could be when you are wrestling with a problem and use your skills and talents to forge a fabulous solution. Problems give you the platform to promote your best you. Faced with a problem, give it your best. -- doug smith

Leveraging Shared Problems

As frustrating as it is, some people don't care about your problem until you make it their problem, too. But you don't have to manipulate them into it. Talk about it. Share your concerns. Find the connections and you'll also find their investment. Once they are in, collaboration is far more likely. -- doug smith

To Be The Best

You could rely on luck. You could depend on inheritance. Maybe you could fake it until you make it. All of those courses of action are unreliable. As an old friend used to say about buying lottery tickets: "It's for people who think that the answer is outside of themselves." To be the best work harder than the rest. That's the only secret formula you need. -- doug smith

No Hiding

We can't hide from a problem. It will find us. Every single time. -- doug smith

Broken Trust?

It hurts when a trust has been broken. It might even feel unforgivable. It should be possible for someone who has broken trust to rebuild it -- but it won't be fast, and it won't be easy. When in doubt, for all you are worth, maintain that trust. -- doug smith

Beyond Production

The trouble with production quotas is that they cause people to do anything necessary to meet them. Cheat. Lie. Cover-up. Bend the rules. Break the rules...if the stakes are high enough and the pressure is strong enough people may feel forced into doing whatever it takes to win. That's not winning. Leaders do need to measure success and we do need to identify key activities on the path to that success, but we must constantly be careful about the means as well as the ends. How strong is your focus on quality? How committed are you to integrity? Are people on your team rewarded for supporting the team? The problem with competition is that someone always loses. It does not need to be your team. -- doug smith

Build The Right Connections

Build the connections that strengthen your team and release the ones that tether your team to trouble. What we hold tight might not be what we need now. Deliberate connection just might take your full attention. -- doug smith

No Crystal Ball

"My crystal ball is broken and all the snow has dried up..." says my friend Linda whenever someone expects her to read their mind or tell the future. The information is not available. We can spend a lot of time looking for shortcuts. What passes for an insight could be instead a slight. With all the tools and software we have available we still do not have workable crystal balls. My job might be easier if I had a crystal ball, but if I did have a crystal ball then I wouldn't be needed. Worth considering? Let's not fear the future. Let's do the work that's right in front of us while keeping sight of our mission. -- doug smith

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