Are you an assertive leader? High performance leaders must be assertive. They need to express their expectations clearly and frequently. They need the courage to stand up to aggressive behavior without getting aggressive themselves. That's where the science of leadership can meet the art of leadership: knowing how much to dial up your assertiveness and knowing how much to keep steady, to keep centered.
Holding your ground and holding your own does not mean holding anyone else emotionally hostage. People will disagree. Strangely enough, some people will fail to meet your expectations. We can deal with that without getting started on raging, yelling, or berating. All of those aggressive behaviors produce side effects and none of them are desirable.
Instead, breathe. Think things through. Work on the relationship and the results will follow. Focus only on the results and the relationship could unwind.
Bullies get paid back when they least expect it. Why not treat people with respect at all times, and (eventually) discover what you have earned is respect?
-- doug smith