Conflict Mistake

image: https://pixabay.com/photos/the-unknown-in-the-window-fear-4698176/

It is natural to make mistakes when we find ourselves in conflict. It feels uncomfortable. We want to return to normal. We just want the conflict to stop.

But, wait...before you stop that conflict too soon by giving in, please keep this in mind:

In a conflict you aren't doing anyone else a favor by letting the other side win.

If you lost then it's not over. You'll be back, somehow, someday, someway to try to even the score. And, if you aren't back, the conflict will linger in your memory as a smudge on what might have been.

The hard part is finding a mutually beneficial resolution to the conflict. Short of that, just remember that it's not yet over.

-- doug smith

Comments

Build and Connect

The world is full of "buts" in search of more "ands." In improv. In leadership. In life. Let go of the fear and build on what's here. -- doug smith

Better Traditions

It's easy to tear down the past and wreck the present. It does not take much thought to condemn what seems to be ill-suited for our present needs. We might even take glee in crushing part of our past. But before we do, we should ask a question or two. What if we improved our traditions instead of destroying them? What if that's a better solution? -- doug smith

Pause First

Falling behind might not mean catching up. It could also reveal change and opportunity. Would you rather chase, or lead? Has one moment or movement gone leaving room for something new? Don't let a treadmill turn into a dread mill. Haul that rock up the hill if it is part of your future, not just because it was part of your past. -- doug smith

Wrong Is Wrong

There may be more than one right way to do something but that does not make the wrong way right. -- doug smith

Speedy, Pause

Speed is great. It overcomes indifference, it outruns hesitation, it gets things started. It can also lead to mistakes. Sometimes a mistake comes from moving too fast. Pause. Practice patiently to filter out the flaws. -- doug smith

In Search of the right steps...

Three step processes. Four step processes. Seven step processes. Even more. A problem is a dynamic in search of a dance. Follow the science, of course, but also find the dance. -- doug smith

Practice

If practice was easy we wouldn't need it. -- doug smith

Better Feedback

The trouble with feedback is that we don't want it, or if we do we don't know how to give it, and don't know when to start or stop it. Ah, but what if we did? What if we could build a high-feedback culture where people were open to feedback and knew how to put it to immediate use? We can. It takes practice. It takes experience. It takes caring about how we do feedback and who we share it with. Here's one thing you can change immediately that will dramatically improve the feedback frequency on your team: ask for advice more often...and then really listen. Don't even call it feedback. Ask for advice and not only will everyone have some, once you show that you're open to it, they'll ask for advice in return. What's your best tip on giving and receiving feedback? -- doug smith

Avoid the Trap

It's easy to fall into it. A juicy bit of information about someone you know hits the air. Do you comment? Do you defend? Do you ignore the situation? Gossip is a trap that tricks our tongues into poisoning ourselves. Honor the absent, don't talk about them. If you wouldn't say it TO them, keep it to yourself. Gossip is a trap; don't fall in. -- doug smith

Found

Everyone wants to do meaningful work. Work of value. Work that matters. Work that uses your skills, your gifts, your best intentions. Is that hard to find? Does it require a massive search? Embrace the search for meaningful work but remember that it is right in front of you. -- doug smith

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