Exploring "Purple on Purpose"

What if there was a way to bridge the divide we all feel everyday, especially in our political views?

What if there was a skill that could help people connect meaningfully by listening first, keeping judgment at bay, and finding common ground?

UnScripted Products posed that question and launched a pilot workshop to explore ways to communicate more satisfyingly thru improv.

I've been blessed with many opportunities to practice improv with truly fabulous, sincere, and creative people all over the USA -- in New Jersey, Chicago, Michigan, Colorado, Pennsylvania -- all over. Each improv group brings their own spark and joy. One wonderful feature of participating in different improv groups is that it does not feel like we are competing with each other because improv is a community.

That makes it just about a perfect model for improving communication, crossing polarized divides, and recognizing people for the marvelously complicated but at heart well-intentioned beings that they are.

Last week I participated in a wonderful and meaningful workshop with UnScripted Productions: Purple On Purpose. Skillfully facilitated by Will Dennis, the two-hour workshop explored practicing improv as a way to strengthen communication and conduct difficult conversations without creating enemies. "Everybody wins" I heard Will say.

The evening was filled with flashes of inspiration. We did between ten and twelve exercises (or games) that built on each other creating a fun path toward connection, acceptance, and learning. The work on listening first was challenging and inspiring. The energy in the room was trusting, fun, and formative.

We're not ready to save the world in one conversation yet, but as Will pointed out -- sometimes it's the second time, or the third time, or the one-hundredth time you communicate that you bridge the gap and reach mutual understanding.

I highly recommend UnScripted Productions and I look forward to working with them more in the future.

-- doug smith

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Build and Connect

The world is full of "buts" in search of more "ands." In improv. In leadership. In life. Let go of the fear and build on what's here. -- doug smith

Better Feedback

The trouble with feedback is that we don't want it, or if we do we don't know how to give it, and don't know when to start or stop it. Ah, but what if we did? What if we could build a high-feedback culture where people were open to feedback and knew how to put it to immediate use? We can. It takes practice. It takes experience. It takes caring about how we do feedback and who we share it with. Here's one thing you can change immediately that will dramatically improve the feedback frequency on your team: ask for advice more often...and then really listen. Don't even call it feedback. Ask for advice and not only will everyone have some, once you show that you're open to it, they'll ask for advice in return. What's your best tip on giving and receiving feedback? -- doug smith

Are We Perfect Yet?

I've said it often and it is still true: there are no perfect people, there are no perfect processes, and there are no perfect products. Nothing in this life is perfect. In a way, isn't that perfect? It means that it is completely up to us to make things better. It is within our need to improve processes, to develop people, to create new products. If we don't do it, who will? That means we might need to overcome our ego's need to feel perfect by examining exactly where we stand. How are we doing? What does the feedback say? Where are we on this road of improvement? Critical thinking requires some self-evaluation. Not to hurt our feelings, but to develop our capacity. Are we perfect yet? Of course not, but it's ever so much fun to be on the road headed in that direction. -- doug smith

Avoid the Trap

It's easy to fall into it. A juicy bit of information about someone you know hits the air. Do you comment? Do you defend? Do you ignore the situation? Gossip is a trap that tricks our tongues into poisoning ourselves. Honor the absent, don't talk about them. If you wouldn't say it TO them, keep it to yourself. Gossip is a trap; don't fall in. -- doug smith

Think It Through and Ask About it, too

The best leaders solve more problems than they cause. That may be more obvious than common. I've kept a journal for most of my life. In that series of journals are accounts of decisions made by leaders often without consulting the constituents they involve, usually with a sense of urgency that distorts all common sense. Lives disrupted, business interrupted, customers stranded -- all in the name of profit and expediency. Of course profit is necessary. Naturally, we share a sense of urgency to get things done before everything changes. But it is ever so easy to cause more problems than we solve if we don't stop to think them thru. Do the proper analysis. Create mutually beneficial solutions. Engage everyone involved. I never met a leader who wanted to be remembered as terrible, but I sure have met plenty who are. -- doug smith

Decisions and Solutions

The decisions you make during problem solving are as important as the solutions you develop, even if they do not lead to solutions. Decisions around relationships, around results, around permanence and transition. Do you want everyone to be better off because of the resolution of the problem, or do you just want a quick fix? Do you value how people respond to your efforts? Do you really know more about the impact and urgency of the situation than the people who will be most affected by your solutions? Decide carefully. You know that, and I know that, but sometimes we do forget, don't we? -- doug smith

Show Me The Data

Some leaders like to say that they rely on their gut instincts. "I'll just know when it's right," they'll say. Experience can tell us that we know what we're doing because of how we feel. How we feel, though, might not be our best guide. If gut instincts are right, they are right about remembering a similar circumstance and what you decided. It's worth asking "is this circumstance really the same?" and "how sure am I about this?" and most importantly, "am I really listening to intuition or is it something else -- like a hidden bias?" One company I've worked with had a phrase to rely on: "show me the data." What do the facts say? What are we missing? Is the information we are relying on reliable? Does it say what we think it says? Unless you are deciding what to eat, you probably should not rely on your gut. Find the facts. Test your instincts. Interrogate your assumptions. If it's important why not be sure? -...

Centered Selves

When we are off center it impacts our results. Our solutions will seem off-center as long as we are. In order to lead, to coach, and to guide our teams need the confidence of knowing that we have a sense of balance, a grounded approach. Let's start by centering ourselves. Restoring confidence. Maintaining balance. Grounding ourselves in the values we drive and live by. Centered problem solving requires centered selves. -- doug smith

Pause

Leaders and others strain under the weight of not knowing. The tension of transition that is uncertain can feel unbearable. We want answers. We want decisions. We want to move ahead. I've learned to pause. If there is a moment to breathe, take it. If there is time to make a decision, make it -- clearly and unemotionally. Speed is wonderful, until it isn't. Going too fast and over a cliff is, well, going too fast. Can you endure the tension of uncertainty long enough to discover objective truth? It's not obvious. It's not easy. It's just best. -- doug smith

Better Traditions

It's easy to tear down the past and wreck the present. It does not take much thought to condemn what seems to be ill-suited for our present needs. We might even take glee in crushing part of our past. But before we do, we should ask a question or two. What if we improved our traditions instead of destroying them? What if that's a better solution? -- doug smith

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