Build Understanding

Why do people reject our ideas?

If you're like me, this can drive you to distraction. The idea is sound, the logic is flawless, the need is palpable, and yet sometimes people reject our best ideas.

Maybe they don't understand them yet. Maybe we don't understand what they are looking for (or more importantly, what they are seeing). The work has just begun.

It does not good to walk away pretending we've reached an understanding when what we've really reached is an impasse. Whatever is blocking you usually doesn't go away on its own. We need to work harder at understanding what's going on.

People aren't always trying to be difficult (yes, I know that sometimes they are). People don't always find us objectionable (although it can feel like that). Sometimes we just don't understand.

We need to understand the value. We need to understand the urgency. We need to understand the need. We need to understand. Otherwise, we're not likely going anywhere.

It's hard to embrace what we don't understand. Sometimes our task is to first build understanding.

How will you know when that tough sell truly understands what it is you're selling?

-- Doug Smith

What have you learned today?

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Comments

Facts and Feelings

How do you feel about data? About half of us really don't feel anything about data, because it's the data that matters. Let's focus on the facts. The half of us really does care about how we feel about data -- or anything else. How cold it is to leave our feelings out of the equation! As winning leaders we need to focus both on facts and on feelings. We need the flexibility and the focus. We need to include anyone and everyone who will be impacted by the results of our decisions. What do you think about that? How do you feel about that? Ask both questions, and then...listen. -- doug smith

With Love

Emotions can get in the way of solving problems. Stirring up anger, or fear is hardly ever helpful. But what if even in the toughest of situations we solved problems with love. There can't be too much love, can there? And the supply is always renewable and inexhaustible if we stay with it. Problems solved with love stay solved longer. We also feel much better about the whole thing. What do you think? -- doug smth

Done

Trying to fix a problem from the past could cause a problem right now. When it's done, let it stay done. -- doug smith

Procrastination

Procrastination increases stress. Do the thing and be done with it. -- doug smith

Reason to Talk

That misunderstanding, that festering conflict, that difficult behavior...what are we to do? Talk it over. Bring it up. Conflict is reason to talk. Conversations cost less than making assumptions. Talk about it.

Never mind the Distractions

I'll keep this short. Distractions are expensive. No need to list them here because you already know, don't you? Some things and some people will try to distract you from your goals but it's up to you if you let them. Design your plan. Act relentlessly on that plan. Keep going until you hit that beautiful four letter word: done. -- doug smith

The Best Goals

Goals are not created equally. Some we plow thru because they are necessary or even assigned. But some that we choose challenge us so strongly that we grow no matter what the outcome turns out to be. Some build new skills that we will use forever after. The best goals bring you growth and joy even when you don't achieve them. Select your goals carefully. Feel the joy. -- doug smith

Optimism

Optimism isn't a guarantee but it is fuel for improvement. You have to think anyway, why not think positively. I've had to work on this. There were times when I was way too sensitive and way to perfectionistic which lead to being pessimistic. I learned that given a choice (and we always have a choice) it is far better to think optimistically. Not irrationally. You do still need to work. Just thinking positively is no lock no matter what anyone says. But it can pull you in a positive direction, and that's helpful. What do you think? -- doug smith

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