See Rejection for What It Is

Does rejection stop you in your tracks? Do you ever find yourself altering your work simply to avoid being rejected.

I hate rejection as much as the next person. It leaves a sour taste in my mouth. It sometimes discourages me. It causes me to question what I'm doing and even who I am. But that's not very useful, is it?

Rejection does not have to devalue us. Rejection is simply one perspective, and hey, most of the time it's wrong. So what if that person does not want to buy your product? If it's still a good product, it can still help others. So what if that person doesn't want to spend time with you anymore (well, OK this is really more than a little "so what") it doesn't mean that you're a bad person or not worth spending time with you. It just says a little something about the person we perceive as rejecting us.

Let that last sentence roll around your head a moment longer please: it just says a little something about the person we perceive as rejecting us.

Maybe they aren't rejecting us at all. Maybe they are exploring. Maybe they reject everything, at first. Maybe they're testing us. Maybe they haven't heard a word we've said. The rejection is all about the rejector, not the rejected.

Rejection should not stop us from continuing to offer what we have of value.

Maybe we offer it in a different way. Maybe we stop to understand the other person before trying so hard to be understood. Maybe we allow ourselves to be influenced instead of pounding on influencing the other person. But we don't need to be done. And, we don't need to feel all the pain of rejection.

We're just getting started.

What rejection do you fear the most? What can you do to assuage that fear and get on with what you really want?

-- Doug Smith

http://dougsmithtraining.blogspot.com/2015/05/make-progress-on-your-goals-today.html

Comments

Connect With Respect

It's the start of a better, deeper, more productive conversation. It's the small effort to make a big impression in establishing relationship. Connect with respect. You don't have to love the person you're interacting with (although, wouldn't that help?) but if you make the effort to demonstrate respect whatever you have to share will land with more credibility. It is a leadership strength. Connect with respect. Smile. Make eye contact. Listen. Honor customs, traditions, even organizational hierarchy. The choice of course is up to you. It's a very personal choice to connect with respect. If you make that choice, I think you will like the results. -- doug smith PS: I didn't expect to use a picture featuring a horse for this posting but when I saw it there was a deep feeling a respect showing. Action Step: Find a picture that represents respect for you and for a week, keep it close enough to look at it for a bit every day.

Roots of Their Own

What looks like the root cause of a problem may have roots of its own. Keep digging. The rush to solve may leave things unresolved. -- doug smith

More Service Please

Would you agree that what we need is more service, not less? And yet, everywhere we look we see service slipping away, drifting into some lip-service pretending or worse yet, not even pretending. It is often a financial decision: you can have it nice or you can have it cheap. Over and over and over again people will choose cheap, even when that is not what they really want. We are better than that. You're better than that. I certainly hope that I'm better than that, too. If the level of service you provide depends on the payment you receive you are doing it wrong. Everyone deserves the very best service that you can possibly provide. -- doug smith

Enjoy The Outcomes

Every problem leads to an outcome. Some you want and some you definitely do not want. You're going to prefer the outcomes of the problems you solve. Don't you think so? -- doug smith

Serve With Love

Leaders must serve. We don't all like that. Sometimes, we'd prefer to be served. But, think about it. We serve our customers. We serve our boards. We serve (yes, we do) our team members. We even serve our peers and of course we serve our bosses. That gives us an important choice: we can serve gladly, or we can serve madly. The work is the same; the emotion is different. The difference between serving with resentment and serving with love is the difference between hardship and happiness. Doesn't happiness feel better? -- doug smith

Angry Leaders Fall

It is scary to watch someone lose their temper. Yelling, screaming, slamming, isn't it all unnecessary? Calm it down. Breathe. Relax. If you burn too hot you burn out fast. - - doug smith

Who Defines Your Goals?

Maybe your goals are assigned to you from someone else. If you have a job, that's probably true about many of your goals. But in the end, isn't it really up to you? What you do, when you do it, how you do it, no matter how formalized the process you are still involved and deciding. You define your goals and you define when those goals are done. Finish what you started, or kiss that goal goodbye. -- doug smith

Instant Coach

Ask someone about their goals. You'll be doing them a favor. -- doug smith

A Sign to Learn

What's your reaction when you find yourself in conflict and yet you are absolutely sure that you're right? Do you dig in on your position? Do you redouble your efforts to convince everyone of your position? Or do you stay curious? Do you stay open to learning? The more certain I am that I'm right the greater the opportunity there is to learn. The next time you are absolutely sure that you're right try asking yourself -- what can I still learn here? It could change everything. -- Douglas Brent Smith

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