See Rejection for What It Is

Does rejection stop you in your tracks? Do you ever find yourself altering your work simply to avoid being rejected.

I hate rejection as much as the next person. It leaves a sour taste in my mouth. It sometimes discourages me. It causes me to question what I'm doing and even who I am. But that's not very useful, is it?

Rejection does not have to devalue us. Rejection is simply one perspective, and hey, most of the time it's wrong. So what if that person does not want to buy your product? If it's still a good product, it can still help others. So what if that person doesn't want to spend time with you anymore (well, OK this is really more than a little "so what") it doesn't mean that you're a bad person or not worth spending time with you. It just says a little something about the person we perceive as rejecting us.

Let that last sentence roll around your head a moment longer please: it just says a little something about the person we perceive as rejecting us.

Maybe they aren't rejecting us at all. Maybe they are exploring. Maybe they reject everything, at first. Maybe they're testing us. Maybe they haven't heard a word we've said. The rejection is all about the rejector, not the rejected.

Rejection should not stop us from continuing to offer what we have of value.

Maybe we offer it in a different way. Maybe we stop to understand the other person before trying so hard to be understood. Maybe we allow ourselves to be influenced instead of pounding on influencing the other person. But we don't need to be done. And, we don't need to feel all the pain of rejection.

We're just getting started.

What rejection do you fear the most? What can you do to assuage that fear and get on with what you really want?

-- Doug Smith

http://dougsmithtraining.blogspot.com/2015/05/make-progress-on-your-goals-today.html

Comments

Facts and Feelings

How do you feel about data? About half of us really don't feel anything about data, because it's the data that matters. Let's focus on the facts. The half of us really does care about how we feel about data -- or anything else. How cold it is to leave our feelings out of the equation! As winning leaders we need to focus both on facts and on feelings. We need the flexibility and the focus. We need to include anyone and everyone who will be impacted by the results of our decisions. What do you think about that? How do you feel about that? Ask both questions, and then...listen. -- doug smith

With Love

Emotions can get in the way of solving problems. Stirring up anger, or fear is hardly ever helpful. But what if even in the toughest of situations we solved problems with love. There can't be too much love, can there? And the supply is always renewable and inexhaustible if we stay with it. Problems solved with love stay solved longer. We also feel much better about the whole thing. What do you think? -- doug smth

Reason to Talk

That misunderstanding, that festering conflict, that difficult behavior...what are we to do? Talk it over. Bring it up. Conflict is reason to talk. Conversations cost less than making assumptions. Talk about it.

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Done

Trying to fix a problem from the past could cause a problem right now. When it's done, let it stay done. -- doug smith

Procrastination

Procrastination increases stress. Do the thing and be done with it. -- doug smith

Optimism

Optimism isn't a guarantee but it is fuel for improvement. You have to think anyway, why not think positively. I've had to work on this. There were times when I was way too sensitive and way to perfectionistic which lead to being pessimistic. I learned that given a choice (and we always have a choice) it is far better to think optimistically. Not irrationally. You do still need to work. Just thinking positively is no lock no matter what anyone says. But it can pull you in a positive direction, and that's helpful. What do you think? -- doug smith

Never mind the Distractions

I'll keep this short. Distractions are expensive. No need to list them here because you already know, don't you? Some things and some people will try to distract you from your goals but it's up to you if you let them. Design your plan. Act relentlessly on that plan. Keep going until you hit that beautiful four letter word: done. -- doug smith

The Best Goals

Goals are not created equally. Some we plow thru because they are necessary or even assigned. But some that we choose challenge us so strongly that we grow no matter what the outcome turns out to be. Some build new skills that we will use forever after. The best goals bring you growth and joy even when you don't achieve them. Select your goals carefully. Feel the joy. -- doug smith

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