What Would You Say?

If someone wanted to discuss a problem with you right now, what would you say?

Some days, I just don't have room for any more problems, how about you? Some days I just want to get thru and get some work done. How about you?

Some days, though, there is an opportunity to talk about what's going on and if that opportunity passes, it's gone forever. I remember a long car ride up the mountains to Breckinridge, Colorado one Valentine's Day when a problem (or hand-full of problems) unfolded a great opportunity to talk. For reasons still unknown to me, I could not talk. The words would not come. My body language didn't communicate what I was thinking and (perhaps) what I was thinking was too sad to say. I don't know. I wish that I did. What I didn't know at the time was that moment, during those steep climbs, there was an opportunity to resolve problems and that opportunity would never come again so freely, so safely, and so sincerely. It faded away.

It was still a good day, but the chance to tackle a problem was gone. The problem now had problems of its own.

One good problem could launch a thousand conversations. One good problem could raise a thousand brilliant powerful questions. But you've got to have the courage to talk about it.

Look for that next opportunity. Embrace it. Savor it. Refresh in it. Talk about it.

-- doug smith

Comments

Rival as Coach

Competition can be rough but it can also be educational. If you study your opponent you might learn their secrets. If you can listen to your opposition, they might be sending you valuable signals that could improve your own performance. What if your rival is also your best coach? -- doug smith

Turn That Feedback Upside Down

Is feedback painful? Do you hate both giving AND receiving feedback? Most people, in my experience, tend to avoid feedback because there is pain and even emotional trauma attached. Critical feedback hurts. Positive feedback, when it comes at all, isn't always enough to counter the trauma of the critical feedback. We do need critical feedback. We need to be able to benefit from observations and experiences to improve our performance going forward. As leaders, we have a responsibility to provide our team members with both support and challenge. Feedback should be part of that challenge. But it's not really "feedback" unless it's flipped upside down. On my Fender amplifier, if I play my guitar too loud and too close to the speaker the sound feeds-back. I like that sound (it reminds me of Jimi Hendrix) but many people don't and it certainly would not fit in most worship services or orchestra pits. The feedback is essentially telling me to turn it down. But I don...

Steps of Success

Remember to celebrate the goals you've already achieved. They are powerful steps toward your next great goal. -- doug smith

A Bit of Justice

Is it possible to have peace without justice? I wrestle with that question because I know what I'd like it to be and I suspect that the real answer is something else. How about you? The path of peace is sometimes covered with conflict. Problems don't always present in a respectful, peaceful manner. Sometimes they barely even disguise the greed behind the behavior. Tough, yet almost certain, the answer involves an assertive response. A problem caused by greed might need a bit of justice. Peaceful, restorative justice perhaps, but most definitely justice. -- doug smith

How To Give and Receive Constructive Feedback

I'm facilitating a training session this week on feedback and coaching so of course my research never stops. No matter how many times I've delivered a program, there's always more to learn. I found this video and recommend it. If you'd like to take some of the "sting" out of feedback, don't even think of it as feedback. Think of it as advice. Here's the ten minute video. If you don't have ten minutes, the first three minutes are golden. Three key points that I got from the video: Focus on the task, not the person Ask for advice, not feedback Your "second score" is how you take and process your first score. If someone says that your performance was a three on a scale of ten (ouch!) you can still get a ten on how you use that information. -- doug smith

Action!

You've heard the term "Action!" in the movie business applied to beginning a scene. Get moving. Do your part. Play your role. Action. Often, the action is incomplete, incorrect, or just insufficient. When that happens on the set you'll hear "Back to one!" which means start the scene over from the beginning. You get another chance. Some directors will even give you a couple extra chances to get it right. Other directors, like Stanley Kubrick, might insist on dozens of "back to ones" to make sure something brilliant happens. We don't always get do-overs in real life, do we? But we can't get stuck at "one" or "back to one". We need action. Sketch out all the plans you want as long as you remember that it takes action to achieve your goals. And what if you don't like the results of your action? Maybe...just maybe, give back to one a chance... -- doug smith

Pause

"Not so fast!" "What?" "I didn't say yes. At least not yet. Be careful of assuming it's a yes..." I don't like to be pushed, how about you? I don't like it when people assume that any answer that is not a no must logically be a yes. Maybe not. It's fine to pause. It's worth thinking. No one can fault you for taking a breath, or two, or three! A pause, before a promise, can prevent that promise from being broken. I'd like to be someone who keeps my promises. How about you? -- doug smith

Appreciation

Your team members might need more validation than you've been giving them. Many of the artifacts of the past that indicated power and showed success are no longer provided. Flattening the organization has also eliminated promotion opportunities. Career tracks have turned into career plains. How do you build a career and your self-esteem if money is your only measure of success? That might not be the wrong question, but the implied answer is incomplete. We still have other ways of measuring and celebrating success. We can find ways to show our team members that they are making progress. We can show our team members that we recognition their success and we appreciate their work. Elevate their status. Distinguish those who achieve their team goals and show them respect beyond the basic into esteemed associate admiration. People didn't stop caring about these things just because companies stopped providing them. No matter what your organizational culture declares, as a leader you ...

How Far?

How far will you go? How much will you work? How important is it to you? Your goals will go as far as you will go... -- doug smith

Some Motivation

When your goals are tied to a larger mission their value prods you forward. One more step, one more step, for goodness' sake take one more step... -- doug smith

doug smith training

Search This Blog