Truth or Tales?

True story: when I was much younger I was known to tell a tale or two. They were usually rooted in reality, but I'd embellish the truth to make it more interesting. Like that story I'd tell about my trip to McSorley's in New York when I ran into John Lennon. We had a nice conversation. Except, he wasn't there. I thought of him, and he lived in New York at the time, but seriously was much more likely to be on the other side of town. Go figure.

How many times did I tell that tale? Maybe once or twice. Once to my best friend at the time. Did she believe me? Not if she knew me well enough...

How about you? Do your fish stories end up with bigger fish than you actually caught? Do you augment reality with some great tales?

I got a great gift last December from one of my good friends and fraternity brother, David Spiegel. It's a coffee mug with the saying "Keep telling the stories" written on it. I love it. I don't think that he meant "tell tales." I think he's encouraging us to remember the stories that brought us to life and keep bringing life to us years after they've past. And (more importantly) to keep telling NEW stories of the new adventures we are creating.

Because who knows how long any of us has?

When it comes to leadership, tell your team the truth. Stories are inspiring, and most useful when they are based on truth. I suspect that none of us knows the complete, unfiltered truth. The best we can do is stop adding our own filters. Tell your truth.

The best story is no match for the truth.

So do tell the stories. And, if you want to, make the fish as big as you want. Just give me a wink so that I'll know...

-- Doug Smith

Comments

Save that thought...

Whenever I ask a class "have you ever said anything that you regret saying?" the answer is always 100% yes. A mumble easily becomes a stumble when it's tainted with trauma, distrust, anger, or sorrow. There are things we could say that don't help in any way. It's better to keep those things to o oneself. I had a boss once who wisely told me "Doug, when you're upset, pause and count to ten." "And what if I stay upset?" "Then count to a hundred." She might as well have said count to a thousand, because I knew exactly what she meant. Some things do not need to be said. We've all got better words inside us willing to take that mistake away. -- doug smith

A Daily Goal

Some people take a vitamin every day. Some people read a passage from a favorite book every day. Positive daily habits support a successful life. Set a goal at least once a day and then achieve that goal. It builds the kind of momentum that leads to wonderful things. And you do want wonderful things, right? -- doug smith

The Smartest Person

What makes a team member seem smart? Is it their knowledge? Is it their experience? Or, are they simply gifted? High performance leaders work to build teams that include people smarter than they are. They are out there, why not bring them to your team? If you think that you are the smartest person on your team you are either wrong, OR not finished recruiting. -- doug smith

Hard Work

What's the hardest job that you've ever had to do? It might be hard, it might not be fun, it might consume far too much time, but hard work builds skills that otherwise go neglected. Hard work teaches patience, tenacity, fortitude, resilience. Hard work build character. When it gets to be too easy, it's time for another challenge. Hard work will always pay off in one way or another. What are you working hard at now? The payoff will be worth it. -- doug smith

Not So Obvious, Is It?

People work on bad goals far too often. It sounds good, it reaches for some vague feeling of satisfaction, and yet the goal is a poor match for who they are or where they are. How you form your goals matters. Get the goal right before you work on it to save yourself lots of aggravation. Keep it simple: action word, result, and time. Keep it ambitious but possible. And check to make sure that what you want is what the goal will give you. Otherwise, that poor goal is a waste of time. -- doug smith

Careful With the Question

Have you ever been in a conversation so intense that you question the health of the person who is arguing with you? Most of us have. In that moment, when our nerves are frayed and our anger is rising, it is ever so easy to say the wrong thing. It's tempting to ask the wrong question. When we push against someone's dignity the reaction will not be positive. You know that, I know that, and yet we've done it anyway. Here's a note-to-self: stop, pause, breathe, evaluate. What would be the best thing to say or do? Because...if you ask someone what's wrong with them they will likely find something wrong with you. And they might not be wrong about that... -- doug smith

Collaborate Instead of Commanding

As a recovering know-it-all I remember making many mistakes, trying to solve someone else's problem. I've learned that maybe, just maybe, I can help, but it is highly unlikely that I'll solve that problem. The problem with solving someone else's problem is that it may not fit into their schedule. Or their plan. Work together. Collaborate. Share. If the solution emerges between you, let them take credit for the brilliance of the solution. You'll never run out of problems to help on, unless you try to solve them all on your own. -- doug smith

Better Is Better

What we work on matters. What we choose to focus on not only matters but it's also completely up to us. What's your focus today? This week? This month? I'm learning to limit my focus to what matters most, one goal at a time. How about you? Better goals create better lives. That's what we want, and deserve. -- doug smith

More than Regret

How does it feel when you miss on a goal? Frustrating? Disappointing? Sure, it is troubling to miss on a goal that once seemed so certain, but is it the worst that could have happened? What did you learn? How did you grow? What mistakes can you avoid in the future? There is much to be gained from every goal, even those that we do not achieve. You won't achieve every goal that you set, but the attempt is always better than regret. -- doug smith

Discipline

It's not automatic. It's not free. The impact will stay with you as long as you sustain the habit. The discipline to develop discipline will multiple your benefits. Work hard, work steady, and keep your promises. It all grows from a foundation of discipline. -- doug smith

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