Controlling Anger

Do you get angry?

Doesn't everyone? A temper is a terrible thing, because it harms the owner the most. When we are angry, our target may not even know it. But, we sure do and that energy feeds on itself.

I do not like being angry. I've had too much practice. Anger has hurt me and it has hurt others I never wanted to hurt. While anger can have its purpose -- defending someone in danger who has been abused or gathering the energy to right a wrong -- most of the time it is energy that could be better spent in repair. Better spent in building rapport. Better spent in building relationship.

Anger fools us. Anger taunts us. Anger misdirects us.

We might tied to work just to make sure that our anger is not part of the reason for our anger.

Because many times, it is.

What should we do? I humbly offer this distillation from wise advice of others. Breathe. Pause. Breathe again. Give your brain time to quiet the defensive posture and clearly see what's going on. What's going on? Breathe. And then ask, "is what I'm thinking helpful? What if I let it go?"

It's not a miracle. But it works for me at least once a day...

-- doug smith

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Seriously

If you take your goals seriously they will take you where you need to go. -- doug smith

The Games We Play

Last week I had some fun, with two different classes, in an activity to re-invent games with no losers. The only other condition was that each game also had to be fun. As it turns out, competition is not necessary in order to have fun. The creativity won the day as games developed without any losers. Imagine that. Playing a game without disappointment. Playing a game of cooperation, of collaboration, of mutually beneficial outcomes. It's possible. It's fun. And, there are no side-effects. The games we play form us in ways we may not expect. If we can invent more games, more situations, more relationships where everybody wins imagine what a world that would be. -- doug smith

Early Is Great

When is the best time to achieve a goal? Achieving a goal on time, on the deadline, is great. What's even better? Achieving a goal early. It's the surest way to achieve it at all. Early is great, so you're never late. -- doug smith

Better Representation

The best customer service comes from products and services that work flawlessly and do not require heroics from the customer OR the service rep. -- doug smith

Competition?

I often ask my classes "What's the difference between conflict and problem solving?". The leading answer is "competition." Conflict is a problem with opposing solutions. Two opposing goals. Competition. That can still be resolved, but it may need to be managed. Recognizing what you've got is a good start. -- Doug Smith

Personal Reminder

If you think about something that needs to be done but don't do it now, when will you do it? Now would be good. Now is the time. -- doug smith

Of Course...

Are you on course to achieve your biggest goals? Is your plan in motion and working? Of course! Will you need to make some adjustments along the way? Of course! If your goal really matters -- to you with some intensity, you will do what you need to do in order to achieve that goal. If it doesn't really matter, there's almost nothing to be done. You need the joy. You need the spark. You need the course of action that lights you up so much that it lights up your path to success. The reason for your goal is as important as your goal. Why does your goal matter? Why now? Why you? Does that level of focus really make a difference? Of course! -- doug smith

Up to You

Other people can help, but achieving your goals is up to you. -- doug smith

A Touch of the Poet

Highly structured? Wildly improvised? Harmonic, or distorted? Fast or slow? Analytics help, but there's nothing quite like a touch of the poet in solving problems. The deep pondering, the pedantic piecing together, the frantic splash of passion. Whether or not they know it every problem solver has a touch of the poet. Are you in touch with your touch of the poet? -- doug smith

A Daily Goal

Some people take a vitamin every day. Some people read a passage from a favorite book every day. Positive daily habits support a successful life. Set a goal at least once a day and then achieve that goal. It builds the kind of momentum that leads to wonderful things. And you do want wonderful things, right? -- doug smith

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