Controlling Anger

Do you get angry?

Doesn't everyone? A temper is a terrible thing, because it harms the owner the most. When we are angry, our target may not even know it. But, we sure do and that energy feeds on itself.

I do not like being angry. I've had too much practice. Anger has hurt me and it has hurt others I never wanted to hurt. While anger can have its purpose -- defending someone in danger who has been abused or gathering the energy to right a wrong -- most of the time it is energy that could be better spent in repair. Better spent in building rapport. Better spent in building relationship.

Anger fools us. Anger taunts us. Anger misdirects us.

We might tied to work just to make sure that our anger is not part of the reason for our anger.

Because many times, it is.

What should we do? I humbly offer this distillation from wise advice of others. Breathe. Pause. Breathe again. Give your brain time to quiet the defensive posture and clearly see what's going on. What's going on? Breathe. And then ask, "is what I'm thinking helpful? What if I let it go?"

It's not a miracle. But it works for me at least once a day...

-- doug smith

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