Start With A Question

How do I know when I'm wrong?

Have you ever thought about that? I know when I'm right -- don't you? But, there's my question. Don't I always feel like I'm right? Why else would I feel what I feel? Why else would I think what I think?

There have been times -- well, OK, YEARS when I have clung to an idea that I thought was completely right only to discover later that it was not as clearly right as I thought. Things are usually more complicated than we give them credit for. What once made sense, over time, can take on new meaning or change completely.

We're going thru a LOT of that now. Things are changing faster and faster. Ideas are morphing and transforming and fizzling and sizzling all over every day. What do we do with all that?

The more we cling to something that is wrong (inaccurate, unhelpful, disrespectful) the less good it does us or anyone else. Why do we do it?

Sometimes, we don't know what we don't know.

It's like a moment in time, on a slightly windy day, at an elevation higher than you're comfortable standing, and starting to lean on a guardrail only to feel it give a little. That little adrenaline rush of "yikes," that moment of fear of falling -- that's what I now try to be open to when it comes to ideas that are just no longer sturdy. They won't keep me from falling.

How do I know when I'm wrong? I won't, unless I first ask a question.

What if instead of our stubborn certainty we started with a question?

I'll try. How about you?

-- doug smith

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Necessary Conflict

Avoiding a conflict does not make you neutral. It may be healthy at times to avoid conflict, but if your team or someone you love is suffering because of that conflict, you've got responsibilities. What do you do when conflict is necessary? High performance leaders have a plan because they've practiced sensible strategies over and over again. Maybe consider that aching conflict another practice opportunity. -- doug smith

The Best

Do you know this feeling -- fully engaged, highly energized, learning and growing and muscling up to the challenges tossed at you? Once we taste that, we want more. It might be tough, but we want more. There are so many distractions, but we want more. There's nothing quite like comp[letely immersing yourself in who you want to be. Working to be the best, not to overcome someone else, but to level yourself up. Where is your best potential to be the very best? -- doug smith

When We're Wrong

Have you ever noticed that people can't seem to realize it when they're wrong? That makes it frustrating for both the person who is wrong and the person who is quite certain that they're wrong. We get stuck. We dig in. It happens in conversations, in conflicts, and in relationships. When we're really wrong, we're really wrong, and we don't even know it. As long as we're wrong we don't see that we're wrong. How do we fix that? (Here it is worth it to pause and wonder, hmmm, how do we?) Pause. It's worth a try. Stay open to possibilities. Listen as if we don't already know the answer, because even if we do the answer might have (probably HAS) changed. When we're wrong we've got to pause to figure that out. And when we're right, we've got to pause to see if that's still true. There's no shame in being wrong. But, it's a total shame to stay that way. -- doug smith

Secret Desires

The best leaders tell the truth. People know that, even when they don't do that. We live in a world filled with so many lies that people have stopped even believing in truth. If it's all relative anyway then just say what you want, right? No. It's not all relative. And, while the truth will change, and while none of us can be absolutely sure about all truth, we can all tell the truth instead of purposely deceiving others. Maybe it's by design. Lies reveal hidden desires. And, no matter what that desire is, if you have to lie to get it, you won't keep it long. -- doug smith Reflective exercise: What's the biggest lie you've ever told? How long did it remain a secret? What was the final outcome? What do you think would have been the outcome if you'd simply told the truth?

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Goals without discipline are like fire without fuel. Stopped. Fuel the fire. Equip your goals. Develop the discipline to act relentlessly on your plan. Your potential is unlimited, but relies first on the discipline that you develop. -- doug smith

Future Leaders

Look for team members who take responsibility without being asked to because those are your future leaders. -- doug smith

Long Game

Sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. We prepare, we practice, we strategize, and still sometimes the game does not go our way. That's reason enough to know that the game -- any game -- itself is not only about winning. It's how you play, how your team responds, and how you treat your competitors and collaborators. And maybe, when you're lucky enough, your collaborators outnumber your competitors. It's a long game peppered with short fuses. Salted with near-misses. Anguished by disappointment. High performance leaders lead anyway, with the character it takes to produce without reducing. What game are you playing today? How can you win even if you don't win? -- doug Smith

Who Else?

Who else will be happier because of your goal? No matter how important that goal is to you, once it becomes important to someone else as well it becomes far more powerful. You become more powerful, too. Before launching a goal determine who else it will help in addition to yourself. It could change everything. -- doug smith

A Better Miss

Missing a goal can still have a positive result if it sets you up for your next goal. Take what you learned, forget what you burned, and earn another achievement. -- doug smith

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