Are you getting all the feedback that you need - or do you sometimes avoid it because you won't like what it says?
I've been known to avoid some critical feedback. It doesn't make me feel good. Sometimes, there's nothing that I can do about it anyway. But, by avoiding the feedback altogether I could miss the piece of positive feedback inside, or the advice that truly matters, or an opportunity to communicate more clearly and reach better understandings and agreements.
Feedback can feel like hard work, but it's worth it.
If we want to achieve our biggest goals it helps to know how we're doing along the way.
Goal achievers learn from feedback every day.
We don't have to apply every piece of feedback. And for heaven's sake, we don't have to take it personally. As my much respected graduate school professor Dr. Jay Desko has said, "feedback says more about the person providing the feedback than it does about the person receiving the feedback." …
What do you do when you know that your feedback for someone on your team will be tough to hear?
Before I learned better, I would sometimes just keep the feedback to myself. I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings, after all. And they made it this far without that feedback so...
But that's not the most compassionate approach. Withholding something that could make someone's life and performance better is not being sensitive, it's being ineffective. Tell them what's going on. Tell them what you are thinking. Offer your suggestions.
It can still be kind. It can even be graceful. It might even contain a bit of humor. But it's best as feedback when it is clear and to the point.
Prepare for that difficult feedback. You already know that there are right ways and wrong ways to deliver feedback. Plan, and practice. Get it right.
Before you give feedback imagine how it would feel to hear that directed at you -- and then adjust accordingly.
Be the boss you always wante…
Leadership is service. No matter how strongly you hold a goal, no matter how driven you are to succeed, the purpose of leading is to help. The essential question is "how can I help?"It gets tough when there are deadlines, meetings, deliverables ahead of you. Interruptions feel unproductive. Helping others feels disruptive. Still, however busy we are, the essential question remains "how can I help?"Serving others may not feel productive until you're the one who needs the help.-- doug smith
Every argument contains at least one misunderstanding.Why?So often we are in such a hurry to express ourselves that we don't pay attention to what someone else is saying. Or, we confuse style with content. When we find someone's personality abrasive it's easy to disregard anything they have to offer. Right, or wrong.I learned the hard way that none of us ever has the complete picture. Even when our opinion is correct, it is incomplete. Until we see a more complete picture (we may never know all of the details) we would do well to stay curious. Every argument starts with misunderstandings, and usually stays there. What if we dug deeper? What if we did stay curious? What if we're wrong - how will we know unless we listen?-- doug smith
What good are problems?Don't you find them aggravating? Don't you prefer straight paths to achieving your goals?And yet, there they are: problems standing in the way. Since they're there, why not make use of them? Since they're there, why not ask powerful questions that open up learning and identify new possibilities?Problems present platforms to ask powerful questions.So there's that.-- doug smith
How does it feel when you miss a goal?It's not fun. It can be discouraging. When it happens to me I have to ask myself what went wrong. Didn't I work hard enough? Was my plan flawed? Even though I do tend to achieve most of my goals, when I miss it hurts. Feel the hurt. Learn the lesson. Move forward. That's what I tell myself.An unachieved goal need not break you. There are new goals ahead.Keep Going!-- doug smith