When To Trust Your Feelings

The roller coaster of feelings - doug smith. ok to share this picture.

Do feelings effect the way that you lead?

Feelings are part of who we are. The challenge is, how do we know when to trust our feelings? It's possible that our feelings are out of balance or even irrational given the circumstance. Our imaginations can fool us into feeling things that are of no value and are not necessary. Jealousy, envy, insecurity, paranoia -- while any of these feelings could sometimes be appropriate, they are very often inappropriate and even harmful to our well being.

But sometimes we have to trust our feelings, don't we?

Yes, and here is when. Trust your feelings when first feel centered, healthy, and rested. Trust your feeling when you can differentiate facts from feelings. Trust your feelings when you are willing to confirm facts and stay curious about contradictory facts.

Feelings are too important to ignore. They are also too powerful to let them rule. Find a balance. Sort through the total picture. Stay in charge.

How do you feel about that?

-- doug smith

Comments

Speak Your Mind

I like people who speak their mind, people who say what they're thinking with radical honesty. You can learn a lot that way, especially when you disagree. Not everyone will appreciate radical honesty. They want you to hide the ugly truths. They want you to sugar-coat the feedback. That's why even when telling your truth without filters feels right (and it does) we still need to ready for reactions to that truth. Disagreement takes many forms. Some forms of disagreement are healthy, and some are not. You've no doubt experienced both. Speak your mind but remember that it will likely generate a response. -- doug smith

Dream...and then get to work

It's good to have dreams. It's where most goals begin, with a meaningful dream. Picturing yourself succeeding is a great technique (used in neurolinguistic programming, NLP and elsewhere). It's not enough, though. If you think you can just conjure up success by dreaming about it or manifesting it, good luck. Take it a step (or twenty) farther than that. Do the work. Dream all you want -- and then, get to work. -- doug smith

Ask The Questions

"The primary role of a leader is to ask relevant questions." -- Lester T. Shapiro It takes practice. It takes patience. It could even take persistence. Ask the questions. To help people think. To seek understanding. To empathize, emphasize, and connect. Every unasked question leaves room for assumptions. You know what they say about assumptions. Ask the questions. -- doug smith

Small Steps

Incremental goals make geometric goals possible. Little goals get giant goals going. Whatever your goal is, break it down into something small enough to do right now. One step forward is all you need to get going. - - doug smith

What You Need

We won't succeed every time. Some goals fall away. Some dreams perish. Keep moving. Keep growing. Try again. When one dream dies there's room for another to arise. You've got what you need to succeed. -- doug smith

Customers Are Funny

Have you ever had a customer need something that seemed unreasonable? "You should pay for the whole thing!" or "You should give me a free gizmo, too!" or "I want a letter of apology from the president!" I've gotten all of those requests. Customers don't always want what they ask for. They can be unreasonable. But, we still need to do our best to figure out HOW we can actually help them. Surprisingly, that is sometimes easier than meeting their demands. Maybe they need a boost to their self-esteem. Maybe they need to vent until their adrenaline tapers off. Or maybe they need to know that they matter and that there are still kind people out there who will listen. People like you and me. The most immediately useful way to help a customer may be completely unrelated to your business. Let's listen. Patiently, compassionately, attentively. It could be the best experience they get all day. -- doug smith

Can I Ask Too Many Questions?

Have you ever been really interrogated? Have you ever been asked so many questions that it felt aggressive and intrusive, like an inquisition? There are times when it feels like we've had enough questioning. That could be a valid conclusion, or it could be a sign to open our minds and expand our perspective. Leaders must ask questions. We must ask open-ended, probing, curious questions. The truth could be in the fifteenth answer instead of the first. Keep asking. Respectfully ask, of course. And, then keep asking. Can I ask too many questions? What's your answer? -- doug smith

The Most Positive

What if we're the most happy when we're the most positive? It's not magic -- we still need to do the work. It's not miraculous or metaphysical -- we do still control our own destiny. But, why not make the control positive? Why not overcome any negative patterns that stand in the way? You've got this. I'm positive. -- doug smith

Melting Conflict

Goals are seldom mutually exclusive, even when they seem to conflict. Once you uncover the bigger need you open up space. Once you align your goals to your mission, the path opens and the the conflict falls away. -- doug smith

Are You A Leader?

It's not such an easy question. Having people who report to you doesn't make you a leader and not having people report to you does not prevent you from being a leader. Leaders get things done thru other people. Or, better still, with other people. Leaders feel compelled to make life better for others and for themselves, by building, by changing, by serving. Are you a leader? What leadership action are you working on today? -- doug smith

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